What I am about to share is something I never thought I would do. Never say never, right? Well my dear readers for the past week I have been happily and joyously playing Coasterville on facebook. *cue gasps and face palming*...I'll wait for you to get yourself together... ... ... Alright, I trust you are finished. There are many reasons I like this game but the main one is that it is oddly grounding and dare I say it, healing. I deal with the non-physical world all day and all night. I am literally working in my sleep and I am working for results that don't always manifest themselves in obvious ways. Sometimes I need to do something that allows me to be meditative without the whole quiet room, incense, candles and crystals show. Along comes Coasterville... It started innocently enough. One of my facebook friends kept on sending me requests. This person is someone I happen to respect as a spiritual teacher so I found it odd that they would be so wrapped up in a online game and have no shame to consistently request goods from me such as a wizard's hat, sugar, a princess uniform, or a dinosaur claw. Out of curiousity, I simply started to respond to their requests. If you want a pink unicorn I am happy to click this button to help you out. I was making dreams come true and there were messages telling me that. I was happy when I saw that his park was growing "leaps and bounds". It truly did my heart good to aid in someone's abundance, even if it was a just online game. The act of supporting this person was something I recognized as an affirmation that I recognize abundance...and you should see what this person has created with the help of his friends... AH-MAZING! The game teaches me a lot really. I often read posts about people always complaining about getting requests from their friends and I think it says more about our culture than we are really wanting to recognize. Much like life, Coasterville and similar games show you can only get so far alone. This is a big lesson for me because I have never liked asking for anything. I have a hard time receiving help as well, but at the same time when I look around, the people I admire greatly are the ones who have a great support system around them. I have never revered a person who said they achieved everything on their own for two reasons: It looked too lonely and they were lying. We don't get anywhere alone. In fact, most of my friends on Coasterville are people I have never met and probably will never meet. Playing Coasterville helped to reveal one of my personal blocks, the illusion of the independent person. Sometimes helping someone just means showing up or giving them your spare room. On Coasterville, I am learning in a ridiculously fun way that helping someone is studying together, staying in their hotel, working at their front gate, visiting them, appreciating their creations, giving them gifts, and the list goes on. I am also learning patience. Once you spend all of your energy there isn't much you can do. You have to wait or get creative. I find myself looking forward to how I can use my time well. Yes this is all happening to playing an online game in a very conscious manner I should add. There may be something I want to build but I don't have the material for it so I have to ask and wait. In the meantime, I have my life, my business, my blog, my spiritual practice, and on Coasterville, my guests. I find that if I use my time well, I haven't waited at all and that thing I have been waiting for comes right on time. Once again, I am learning all of this in an online game and it is exciting. My other lesson is be yourself and be inspired! It is an obvious message for most but it is different in application. When I visit my Coasterville friend's parks, I always note how unique they are. No one's park is the same but they are all amazing. I am so impressed when anyone takes the time to be creative, so when you get to see how people have designed their parks, it is inspiring and would you believe that when you spend time in someone's park you get an "inspiration" point. It only makes sense, right? I love designing and changing the look of my park. It is a greater pleasure to decide exactly how I want to focus my abundance. I am really into the Fantasy part of "Kiki's Loveland" (the name of my park :D), so it is a joy developing it and seeing it grow "leaps and bounds". I often see dragons in my meditations, so it is very aligned with what I enjoy. Yes, I have a dragon coaster and petting zoo at Kiki's Loveland! EEEK! So yes, it is true, you have just read an entire blog post about my appreciation for Coasterville. Was it a waste of time? Of course not. You have wasted time if while you were reading this, you weren't thinking about things you can do to spark more inspiration, love, and appreciation within. If it feels good and it doesn't hurt anyone, do it. Even if it seems silly, cliche, or uncool, DO IT. I remember the way my love for Korean dramas saved my life and I also remember how odd everyone thought I was for being so obsessed. But guess who went to Korea and had the time of her life because of said obsession?? Me, that's who. As I always say, trust yourself, trust your path. No one can walk it for you and no one can tell you how you should do it. Skip, jump, breakdance, roll, shuffle, but move yourself to the next phase with love and appreciation in your heart! Never take for granted how you use your time because if you love what you do with your whole heart, miracles happen. I am living proof! My name is Kiki and I love Coasterville...and I am proud of it.
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All of my posts are related to the direction my Reiki practice is going and it seems like the theme as of late is all about relationships. Take this ride with me as we delve into my mind (filtered through my heart) to get to a bit of what it means to really have a healthy relationship. I have been spending the last two weeks (at least) working to have a deeper understanding of our connection as men and women because the demands of my practice have prompted, no, demanded me to go there. I am convinced that we are supposed to be together, us gals and guys. Our biology has us fitting together like puzzle pieces, sure, but it is more than that. It is in the pull and draw we emit towards each other that goes beyond words and explanation. We use the word "love", but right now I feel it isn't enough. It is the bond that goes beyond breath, sight, sound...into stillness. It is in our ability to create new life. Everything I have written isn't news to anyone I am sure, but I ask you to act like it is. Just do it. I go through this process every time to gain deeper insight; I assume nothing. Do that with me now. I had this vision of men and women having a party together in some distant desert land. The women crowned in golden headdresses, the men draped in golden sashes, and the mummified corpse of their matriarch adorn in light blue and gold gently watching over the people as they revered her. Her presence got the party started. They had a ceremonial courting dance of sorts. The women would kick out their feet to the drum beat while flicking their wrists as they crossed their chests. The men would dance around the women with their backs to them as their shoulders seemed to lead the direction of their bodies. As the men would get closer to the women, the ladies would further entice by placing their hands on the sides of their face making a bursting like motion. It was a swirling dramatic scene. I sat in all white watching them in awe and wonder. They were so happy and exuberant. Joy twinkled in their mingling and I felt like a kid peaking in on my parents. But then there was a turn of events. The men started to be called away to a duty of some sort. It felt like war, a struggle only they would experience. As the men were disappearing the women kept on dancing. It was like they didn't want to lose the moment, their culture. The kept dancing but the movements, although precise, lacked their previous luster. The men started to comeback but now they were in the background, the sidelines, just watching. The women now danced with themselves. There was little interaction and it was almost like the men were never a part of this once sacred dance. The vision ended. The first thing that came to mind was the so-called independent women (and men) of our time. What does it mean if it just means you have become accustomed to a lackluster life? What does tradition mean if it is no longer dynamic for the whole? If together they could make so much magic, why not find a way to do it in the new conditions? We create NEW life together, don't we? The second thing that came to mind was understanding how the individual experiences we have in relationships often go overlooked or ignored. When we bond sexually with anyone it goes beyond the physical experience; you have made a secure connection with that person's energy. That is where the true marriage really happens, but so much of our current culture thrives in ignoring this reality. Without intercourse I can feel the emotions of someone else because I am an empath. It took me years to realize certain emotions were not my own and without emotional intelligence dealing with these mysterious emotions can be crippling and downright terrifying. In a relationship although your partner didn't experience your day, they feel all of the emotional baggage you have picked up through the bond you have made with each other. If your way of being with your emotions is to ignore them or pushed them down, then you have done the same to your partner. There can be no growth together if that's how you roll and there isn't a place for them in your world or on the dance floor. If what they are feeling is beyond the scope of your experience, it means you have to sit down and listen so that you can learn about what you are ALREADY empathizing and work through it together. That is the commitment you made when you were doing all that dancing and legs spreading. You bonded to their physical body consciously and most likely unconsciously to their mental, emotional, and spiritual body as well. A relationship cannot thrive if you ignore this. I want to say there is a third thing just to keep this going but I don't think I had one. I did start talking to my friends about it, my vision. I told them they were going to help me write a blog and love them to bits, they did. I received both feminine and masculine perspectives because I love balance. What I found in talking to them is the same issue that I have consistently come across, the inability to receive. In so many cases, when one partner is put in a position to fend for themselves (often the woman) they form a protective shield. It becomes hard for them to receive because they have been accustomed to doing everything for themselves, being independent. The shock of acquiring these survivor skills is the same force that holds them into their pattern. The biggest problem is that this act (the holding pattern) isn't done out of trust or love, it is out of fear and and illusion of necessity. So this is the shift that needs to be made. We have to start moving into trust and love. We have to open our hearts and listen to its wisdom and open our legs and receive our puzzle piece (HA!). As we listen to our hearts, we have to recognize the connection we have to each other. Ever heard of the phrase, "Loving me is loving you."? If you really embark upon the journey of knowing yourself, you will also start to see all of your issues that are waiting to be healed. As you love each one, you also extend that love to your partner and then the legs start to creak open a little wider...bit by bit. I'm convinced we weren't meant to do this life thing alone. Physically you entered the world alone but the bonds you have made along the way go way beyond the human flesh. Michael Jackson said, "you're just another part of me" and "you are not alone". I think he was going somewhere with that. It is up to us to break the pattern. He has to ask that lady to dance and lay out his confessions in his motions (energy in motion=emotion). She has to say yes and allow her body to move with his. His motions are new and different, but she is skilled at receiving this new knowledge, and finding her own rhythm as they groove. As they stay in this flow, they create something new, because that is what they do. They know as long as they have the music, the floor is theirs, and they always have the music. So... Open your legs to healthy relationships. Open your legs to greater knowledge of self. Open them up to learning something new about your partner. Open them up to trust. Open your legs to that loving lion. Open them legs to divine partnership. Open 'em up to emotional intelligence. Open 'em w i d e to healing. When we heal together... Dear Mother Mamochka Mom Ma,
If you ask me who created me, human me, I never attribute it to some invisible god in the ether somewhere. I will tell you with full clarity that my creator is you. The glory goes to you. There are times when I talk about you with my friends and I have to pause. In those moments, I realize I have the greatest mother on the planet and other planets I am sure. I know I chose you to be my mother. It wasn't an accident or random plan. No, I waited for the right time to enter into this world and I chose you to be the one who would create the way for me to exist. Thank you. I know being my mother is not the easiest role. I live in a world of dreams and imagination and in so many ways I have asked you to trust something that you couldn't see over and over again. It has been the theme of our journey together and you believe in me in ways not everyone could. With each moment that passes, I seek to bring more from that world into this one and it amazes me that you stand by me, but you do. Even when I have doubted my own capabilities there you were, there as my mother, watching me, listening to me, and reminding me who I am. If there was ever a moment that you said you couldn't, I would understand, because I am more than grateful that I have gotten this far with your love. It has always been my intention that I could show you just a bit of what I see and I know I have done that and I have so much more I want to show you. One day I looked at my life and took an inventory of all of my accomplishments, my triumphs, my miracles, and I realized that my none of those experiences happened without your support. Not one. Even when I thought I did it all by myself, I knew it wasn't true. Mom you know my heart and understand it somehow. I look at the way you love me and I'm speechless. You never told me what to believe in. You gave me the space to discover for myself. You have never asked me to be someone I wasn't even as you realized you were raising "the princess", "sleeping beauty", "the eccentric", and "the queen" all rolled into one. Some would say I am spoiled, but I disagree, because the work that I do now, where I pour my love into people who are seeking to grow and heal wouldn't be possible without your support...and I think that those who work with me know it. If I am spoiled, then so is anyone who knows me and spends time with me because I love them the way you love me. As I told you, everyday is Mother's day, but I am happy to say, Happy Mother's day! to you. You are the one that loved me, inspired others to love me, held me, fed me, watched me sleep, bathed me, sang to me, and changed my dirty diapers... and I am so grateful you did. You raised my brother and I by yourself, in a hot desert, with very little help, and constantly created opportunities for us to realize our own greatness. I never saw you give up or say it was too much. You always seemed endless. I now know it is because you are...endless. There isn't a doubt in my mind or heart that I have the world's greatest mother. Mom, it shocks me to think that there is a soul who chooses me right now and that one day I will be there for her the way you have been for me. Just as your mother did for you, you have taught me well. I know I can do it too, and in my way pass on our family's tradition of transcendent, royal, dreams into reality, magical, unconditional love. You have created the way for me to exist as your mother did for you. I ask you to never think you have lost your abilities. We have free will but a mother's love opens the way for us to step into a greater vision. You are my creator and my goddess. I love you and I believe in you. When I was in undergrad preparing for my senior show, there were a lot of ideas that didn't make the cut. I could put my ideas in two categories; Love and Violent Anger. I would watch a hip hop music video and get pissed off. I would hear a careless comment in what might have been viewed as intellectual banter and I could taste blood. I would see a friend not being respected by her boyfriend or her not respecting herself to try to live up to what she thought was expected of her and I was livid. I wanted someone's head for what I felt was being done to women, and not just the one their neck. Oooh harsh huh? Well I told you was pissed off. One of my ideas involve a man wearing the same pair of underwear for a month without washing himself. Then I would take those underwear and pin them to a canvas with the words above it that read, "Dirty men should not define your beauty." Ewww, gross, right? Then I started making these snakes with penises for heads. As I was getting ready to destroy them as part of the work, my professor, my surrogate father, had to intervene. With so much love and concern in his voice, he asked me to reconsider my work. I did and I was happier about it in the end, but initially I thought he didn't understand me and felt like I was being scolded for trying to bring justice to this sexist, oppressive world. I had yet to know my power then and that I could create my own reality instead of being a victim or making others to be victims.
The final show was all about love and aimed to empower women with positive representations of who we were. One of my pieces was entitled "Holding On, Letting Go". This piece probably meant the most to me because it expressed my journey that year so clearly. I had to learn to hold onto the love and let go of the anger. The top of the piece consisted of casts of my hands holding and releasing a suspended liquid which represented energy. The base of the piece was adorned with yonis and lactating nipples nourishing and giving life to the internal change I had to make within myself. It took me years to really make this internal change and it is still evolving and growing but it comes to mind today as I was faced with a challenge in this particular lesson. Today someone posted a condescending and misleading quote without mentioning my name about a conversation we had. I immediately became upset because I couldn't stand the idea of this person putting out fake wisdom based on half-truths. I also was upset because the full story was that this super "spiritual" man approached our interaction in a very sexual way and I ended our interaction because of it. He wanted to have a conversation about a topic I considered sacred after he just finished being "Slimy Mcgrimey" with a pseudo-spiritual slant. He didn't deserve my time or energy and I let him know. When I saw that post, I wanted to put him on blast and say, "Tell the truth! You are a social media sex fiend and you got mad that I wasn't going for it." I took a deep breath instead. Within our first conversation he was talking about me pregnant with his child. What! Second conversation, he said he wanted to "align my spine". What?!!!! Then he said he wanted to make me feel like a "virgin and child". Bwahaha! When I shared these gems with one of my male friends, we laughed, but then, my friend noted that these lines have probably worked before. I knew he was right, because this guy is middle-aged (something he lied about) and those lines seemed to come out of textbook "spiritual" erotica (which is something I find incredibly humorous on any day). I ended our interaction a few lines after the "virgin and child" spattering. The wild part still remains is that these lines worked on someone. Because of this I want, no, NEED to talk about self-love. Those lines didn't have a chance on me because I can align my own spine, I regularly feel like a virgin and a child, and I have done everything else he suggested for myself with greatness and perfection. I know how to love myself. My theme song I regularly get down to as a testament to my personal love affair is "You Know How to Love Me" by Phyllis Hyman. I'm playing it now. I am my dream lover. I get myself excited just by walking past a mirror. I touch my thigh and go places beyond. I hear my voice and swoon. I write myself divine love letters. My love takes me to the cosmos and back. My love creates new worlds. I see the beauty in everything I do and in everything I am. I own my pleasure and have taken responsibility for it as I am a faithful student of myself (and I give myself an A+). I LOOOVE myself. My heart is vibrating with love and joy as I type this because just thinking about my love for myself stirs up even more love inside of me. This is a love that only deepens and expands in each moment. I have found that many men will get into spiritual teachings, yoga, martial arts, academia, intellectualism, and even woman studies just to get in a woman's draws. It is elaborate, but not everyone is an athlete, a rapper, or a powerful business man. Tariq Khemet Ptah Shri El Bey apparently wants the draws too. Sex is wonderful but it is the last thing on my mind when it comes to bonding with my life partner. I always say if a man wants to peak my interest he needs to show me the plan for our farm, tell me exactly how he will implement it, and prove that he has the ability to do so. If he wants me to consider him further, I need to see him planting our fruit trees. Taoism, Tantra, Kama Sutra, Kemetic Sexology, pshhh! What is your relationship to your mother and the women in your life? Can you cook and are you willing to be the primary cook? Are you emotionally intelligent? Do you love yourself? How do you love yourself? What is manhood to you? What is your vision of fatherhood? Do you know how to serve me, protect me, honor me, and provide for me with unconditional love and respect? Are ready to commit your life to doing just that? Loving yourself changes everything. I have seen the power of it in so many ways in this week alone. I saw it in a woman inspiring more love in her marriage by loving herself more. I saw it in another woman stepping into her womanhood even more as she prepares for more love to enter her world. I saw it in a woman setting the pace for a budding relationship and her partner showing the most admirable respect for her decisions. My love for myself allowed me to not feel bad when I had to reject old dude. In the past, I would have been concerned about hurting the person's feelings. Love yourself in every way you can think of, get creative. Get in the mirror, look deep into those lovely eyes and let yourself know about all of the love stirring inside of you. This is a forever love. I am in love with myself and it feels DIVINE. In reality that dude should have sat in a corner and thought about why he got rejected... but hey, his "lofty" and oh so "deep" reappearance made for a fun blog post. Blog posts about self-love...I'll open my legs WIDE open to that! I just finished my hair and I decided to share with you all my special ritual. Hairs are like antennas picking up information and programming from the environment. For this reason, I do my own hair. You know how it feels when someone has taken pride in doing your hair or when it is just routine. In fact, the only hairdressers I trusted with my hair were men who had daughters with similiar hair to mine. I truly felt the love when they did my hair. When I was ready for locs, I was also ready to commit to having a deeper relationship with myself. Yeah, I can get deep about anything... "wholistic" is a better term. When I groom my locs I play love songs from a playlist I created just for that purpose. I like to make sure that as I am touching and handling my hair, it is being programmed with love. I noticed a huge difference in my life after I did that.
Today I switched it up and talked to my friend as I did it. We had a positive and empowering conversation together. I even said my favorite womanhood affirming mantra and almost knocked myself out with joy. So next time you are grooming your hair, be conscious of what you are watching, listening to, and speaking about. You are programming your hair and yourself with all of it. Make your grooming time special and powerful! Do you have emotional blocks? Do you suppress your emotions? If you do, you may often find that no matter how much you eat well and workout, you still can't seem to lose that layer of fat that helps to keep your tummy extra warm. You may also find that you may start working out and get very emotional and without realizing why, you have stopped your regimen.
So what should you do? Work them abs and work out your emotions. Your stomach is really where you store your emotions and if you aren't letting them flow, they get stuck there. As a protection and comfort mechanism, your body starts to store fat there. Getting strong in that area, will tell your body you don't need that form of protection or comfort. But this only works if you are willing to deal with the emotions that come up as an result of your ab work. So try it out. The perks are pretty awesome if you ask me, nice abs and being emotionally balanced. What!?!? Heal yourself!! We don't need to know everything. In fact, I think it is in the mystery where we experience the most growth. There was a time in my life when I thought I had plateaued in my knowledge. It sounds completely ridiculous to say that now, but there was a time. Of course, that facade came crashing down around me and I learned a lot about myself and that I am not always the pillar of peace. I was livid when it all happened and had very violent fantasies involving nudity, a wolf, a stick, and destruction. When I told my friends about them, they laughed and made jokes about fairies dying when I got angry. Gotta love your friends! It was sobering, jokes included, but it helped me find my true voice. It dared me to be okay with being a perpetual student and I accepted the position.
I recently had a conversation with a nice fella and I asked him what joy looked like. He said plenty, but never answered my question. I even gave examples emphasizing sight. He mentioned how joy is different to each person, he described contentment, the nature of joy, he vaguely mentioned something about a desirable image, but he still didn't tell me what joy looked like to him. The key verb was look and the most important subject of the verb was "you", but he didn't seem to pick up on that. In many ways, I understood. I have been in that kind of hot seat before. I took a spiritual business class and the teacher asked each of us, "What is time?" No one could really answer the question. I remember hearing everyone's explanation of time and each time they got shot down. It was my turn and I tried to answer the question. Eventually I simply said that I didn't know...and I really didn't. I was lauded for my honest answer. My whole mind was twisted and no matter how I tried, I couldn't find the answer. I later learned that what she was saying was if you can't really define time, why worry about it. She wanted us to define our moments, for ourselves, without the pressure of time. Without realizing it, my line of questioning was similar. I asked him this because in our conversation I realized the importance of knowing what joy looks like to us and embodying it. It has been said that we are spiritual beings having an human experience and I fully agree with that. I know that who I am is spiritual (or non-physical). I am that mystery. I also recognize that I came here to have a physical experience and because I do, it can't be negated when it comes to understanding things like love, joy, and pain. Pain has a look. Love has an appearance and so does joy. Joy has a taste, a smell; it is a feeling. So why did I ask this fella what joy looked like to him? Truthfully, it was because in all of his pictures that I saw, I only saw one that exuded pure joy. His other pictures had glimpses, but this one was different. It was an older picture of him. He looked relaxed, comfortable, even a little bashful, but joyful. I also noticed that was the picture he seemed to criticize the most. I used to be embarrassed about the pictures of myself that showed all of my gums. When the joy pours out, my gums like to make a showy appearance. So when I asked him the question, I was asking if he could recognize the moments when he exuded his joy. I was wondering if he liked what it looked like when it showed up. Did he like how he was expressing himself? I remember being so joyful in middle school the day I wore my magenta pants inside out paired with yet another original hairstyle I made up the night before. I enjoyed expressing myself even if there wasn't a rhyme or reason to it. Of course, he may say he wasn't joyful at all during that time, but that isn't important to me. It is more important that we all take the time to decide what joy looks like to us and find the ways, circumstances, states of being where it resides and exude it. Too often we walk around with a serious face. I know I have been guilty of that. During my first year in college, my scowl was a main topic of my concern professors. I was even pulled into an office about it. They wanted to know what was wrong with me. I was intimidated by the environment because I had never seen that many intelligent people in one place before even though you couldn't get me to admit it. My sour face was a protection mechanism. Later a different professor and random people on the street taught me the power of my smile and exuding my joy. Joy has changed my life. Sure pain is a part of life, but joy trumps it over and over if you let it. I say, let it pour out into everything you do. Love, joy and pain are constantly unfolding their truth to us. There definition is never static so it doesn't make sense to claim dominion over them. Be the student of the present and watch the mystery reveal itself. Love guides it all. So I ask you, my readers, what does joy look like to you? Are you willing to commit to living in it and oozing it out from your heart? In the extremely modified NYC Homeland security slogan, If you see something called joy, show it to the world! <------ That is where your true power lies... Special thanks goes to everyone who helped me write this post past, present, physical, and non-physical. You know who you are... Really...What does joy look like to you? Oftentimes when I write, I play music. I am playing music right now actually. I would love to tell you all that I put on a playlist and let the words flow but it isn't true. For my most love-filled posts I require Whitney Houston's Just the Lonely. There is something about that song that forces me to dig deep. She is singing to this guy asking him if he is ready for all of her lovin' or if he is just lonely. For me it is like a personal love song that keeps me in check. It is like my higher self saying, "Hey gal, are you going to bring it or are you just going to scratch the surface?" From there I find that every word type just flows because I so want to answer that challenging question. Am I ready for love? Am I ready for this grand responsibility to be committed to love? Writing for me is a love ritual. It is my way of showing my commitment to myself and to the love I am. It helps that I am a big planner. It isn't that I am meticulous; I like to set the stage. For example, I knew that one day I would have locs. I wasn't sure when I was going to do it but I knew that I would have to exhaust all other hair styles I had an interest in before I was willing to make the commitment. So, I did. I played with my hair until I realized I was done. So it was very loosely planned and when everything was aligned, I went for it. This helped me greatly because I knew my family wouldn't approve but because I did everything I needed to do to be clear in my decision their moans and groans and subtle suggestions in the awkward growing stages fell on insensitive ears. I made a clear commitment to my hair and myself that couldn't be moved. It was like that Musiq song "You and Me". If they can't bear to see me happy with my locs then it will be us against the world. I guess this means I embarked on a love affair with my hair. We have had our ups and downs, but I wouldn't trade it for any other way to enjoy my hair. Still playing Whitney by the way.... I think it is safe to say we all love "love" when it seems to be working out. We like the giddy feelings, the good days, and the sound of our own laugh. Or is that just me? But when it comes to making a commitment, I go back to this song. How many times are we just doing "lonely talking"? Whitney says that she will still be there after she fulfills his needs even though she knows this guy may leave. To me she plays the role of love itself in the song. She is so forgiving. She accepts this guy for who he is but encourages, challenges him to be honest with himself. Can he commit to having the real conversation? Can he commit? I apply this song to everything I say/feel I love. I apply it to my Reiki practice, my writing, my hair, my friendships, and though it pains me to admit it to, you, my readers, my desire for family. Long-term commitments, for most of my life, have petrified me. I have enjoyed my ability to break free of situations. I used to love putting in my notice of leave at jobs. I am still happy about my great escape capabilities but ever since I entered this love world I feel a little differently. I need to apply different skills to love because this is a world I am not keen on leaving. It would be like leaving myself and that doesn't make sense. I only share this because I know there are a few of you out there just like me...and because I am listening to this song on repeat and she keeps asking if I am ready for love. Geez Whitney. Do I think I am ready? Yes and no. But she(Whit/Love) keeps on talking about sharing a dream she has visualized. Love has a dream that it wants to share with me and I want in on it. I mean she wants to talk, she is practically begging, so it isn't all about her dream. I feel like she is open to what I have been drumming up as well. It is the mystery of this conversation that scares me, but I am willing to enter. I am willing to commit this time. Without commitment, I wouldn't have this glorious mane, this blog, this business, my health, my knowledge, and whatever is around that mysterious corner for me. Purple with fear, I am willing to commit to love. Luckily purple looks good on me. So I write this to suggest that maybe we should find greater greatness to commit to. Ha!..."greater greatness". I think what holds us back is that we have said no to mediocrity for so long that when that good stuff comes along we don't know how to break the habit of chucking the deuces(leaving). My greater greatness is love. What is it for you? What is a Reiki Session like with me? Hmmm. Where do I begin?
As I have continued to grow in my practice, I have shaped my own way of doing things. A session with me definitely isn't a be still and silent experience. It doesn't mean I am against it, but that just isn't what happens. Surprisingly, most of my clients have been long-distance over the phone or via-skype. When I first started, I thought I would be this traveling Reiki practitioner making house calls laying my healing hands on random people. I am not ruling it out, but so far it has been done in the comfort of my home, and the people are not so random. I love the hands-on part of the practice, but I love to communicate and move freely even more, and it seems like the people who are attracted to me like to do the same. So against the format I was introduced into, I just let people talk and I do my thing on the other side. What has evolved out of it is an awesome Distance Reiki session and a healing conversation. The conversations are great, transformative, and even quite comical. I think love-filled laughter is sometimes what we need the most and I have plenty of that. Though I am light-hearted, I am also very serious about what I do. I don't give Reiki for entertainment or for simple curiosity. Anyone who comes to me must be ready to work on themselves. No one gets off the hook, not even longtime close friends. I do not play. I give out reading material prior to the session and homework after the session. I love this journey I am on and know and live the benefits, so it wouldn't make sense for me to support the contrary. I feel the people who come to me now, know what I am about and I have no problem laying down the law if they are not sure...but it is all in love. Someone described working with me as "gentle and loving" and I can resonate with that. The atmosphere is non-judgmental and open. I can truly talk about anything and I know that is what makes this format work. It helps that all kinds of crazy things are known to fly out of my mouth. I have a knack for crude metaphors. I work with all kinds of people with different reasons for wanting to have a Reiki session. The overall consensus is that they feel they need to heal something or move past something, broken hearts, stagnation, creative blocks, physical pain, depression, insomnia, and the list goes on. People also tend to come to Reiki when they are ready to make a big shift. At least when they are working with me. Usually they are diving deep in spiritual exploration and are learning that they need more answers. Does Reiki give them answers? I wouldn't say that exactly, but I do notice that those answers tend to come a little faster. No matter what, it is the recipient of the energy who makes the magic happen, and Reiki is like a really powerful yet gentle boost in their efforts. Our conversations help to bring up the stuff they are ready to start working on. I do deal with physical ailments, but I work to get to the root cause of why the discomfort is there in the first place. With Reiki, it is all about root causes. We really go deep. I don't care what anyone says or how they do it, but to me, Reiki is fun. No matter how a session starts out or how many tears are shed (not all the time), it always ends with mutual gratitude, lots of smiles and giggles. When I get off the phone, I run around the house excited and full of joy, every time. I truly love what I do. At a certain point in my life, I committed myself to making sure whatever I do is fun. It's a life rule and I definitely bring that commitment to the sessions. If you want to know more, just ask me at kikicinza@gmail.com. The first post I ever made in this blog was about going within. I was learning the uses of Reiki in my own life and was applying it to everything. I wrote that post shortly after I did my first meditation with Reiki in which I went deep within myself. You see, I was asking those big questions: Who am I? What am I here for? What is this all about? Where are my ancestors? It was a powerful experience that yielded several revelations, the most important one was that I was not alone. Within me was a world of ancestors, guides, and yes angels. Since then, the revelations have been continuous and I am convinced that there is no plateau of knowledge. If I am always growing, so is knowledge and so is my spiritual posse.
No matter what religious beliefs you hold, eventually you have to realize that your spiritual journey is all about you. You can read books, blog posts like this one, watch videos, go to church, have soul-stirring tantric sex but eventually you have to walk away from it all (hopefully you will return to the sex) and deal with yourself to find the truth. Recently I started learning about galaxies and planets and how there are billions of earth-like planets. This made me feel very small, really small. It isn't a concept that is easy to wrap your mind around. Hell, I trip out when I drive in a neighborhood and realize that people live in those homes. So, to think there are billions of earth-like planets in existence...wow... But then, I also remember the never-ending vast universe I know that is within and it also makes me look around my life, the biggest life I know, and the only one I have control over. To be honest with you, sometimes I need help. I needed my mother to act like a cheerleader (literally) yesterday so that I could get motivated to wash my clothes, all five loads. I needed my dear friend to talk to me about the beauty of body hair because I was sad about saying goodbye to it since the weather is getting warmer, genuinely sad, even though when I tried to cry about it nothing came out. My mother laughed at that attempt. I needed comfort from an angelic presence in the middle of the night when the astral realm was getting super intense for me. There are times when we need guidance that we can trust and it can come from beyond our physical perception. When I did that meditation, I asked where my ancestors were. I realized that they were within. I actually saw and felt them and since I knew where I was, I knew where they were. After that, I began speaking to my ancestors with greater confidence. I was no longer speaking empty words to an empty room, hoping someone would hear me. I was no longer afraid to speak to guides who had come to me a few years back because I wasn't sure who I was speaking to. I was no longer skeptical of the existence of angels when I realized within I could fly, love, and glitter too. When I realized this whole world was inside of me, comprised me, it made no sense for me to deny the presence of those who could help me. Essentially I am helping myself. Between my clients and the super magical people I meet, the most frequent thing I find myself telling them is to talk to their ancestors. Everyone's journey is unique and what works for me may not work for you. The ancient knowledge that you have within is your personal life manual. Why wouldn't you open it up? I am not someone who needs an expert or science to prove things to be true. All science is trying to do is explain spirituality. I rather just go to the source, which is me, to find out all I need to know. I trust my ancestors, guides, and angels to guide me in accordance to my highest good. I don't do it because it sounds cool or out of desperation, but because I feel their love and I know they are a part of me. I trust myself and my path. You are the key to unlock all of the codes within you. All you have to do is tap into the love you are, start talking, and then shut up and listen. They will talk back, you just have to be willing to listen. This is especially for those of you who are intuitive and feel like you have energy or entities around you. Having these conversations will really help to release the fears you have regarding psychic gifts or the non-physical world you sense within and outside of you. I speak from experience. I have one of the baddest posses around and when I need them, they show up. Tap into yours! How, you ask? Get creative and develop your own meditation. The goal is to go deeply within. If you always thought you were like water, see a lake, declare it is you, and go deep sea diving. I heard one person turned themselves inside out and explore from there. That sounded kind of gross to me but it worked for them. If you make the method, it will work. I don't care how you do it, I just want you to do it. Let this be your encouragement to go deeper and ask those big questions. Don't be surprised if Grandma shows up to chat it up with you. As above, so below. As within, so without. |
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