Someone told me recently that I need to share my gift and be more in service to others. They were pretty accurate because it's true that I get the most of this healing energy that I am equipped with. Of course the very nature of being a holistic energy practitioner is to be in service to others but my shyness sometimes prevents me from sharing it with others. I am not very aggressive when it comes to this work. I don't doubt my abilities but I do wonder if I can handle the social aspect of it. Her words have been rolling within me and the only thing that comes up is this vision of me beckoning a lover.
I find it odd for me to be thinking about putting strength and courage into a lovers body, mind and spirit so that they may come knocking at my door instead of creating a newsletter for my business. I feel like I am on the verge of writing a romance novel. Right now, as I am typing, I have this vision of me typing a salacious novel instead of writing a very sensible business promoting post. Am I love deprived? Maybe.
Earlier I felt a rush of energy flow within me. My hands got hot and at first I went to put my hands on myself, but then I heard that voice. I decided that whatever I was intending for myself, I would intend for those around me, old friends, and even people I don't particularly care for as well. With my hot palms facing the atmosphere around me, I projected sweetness, the good kind of stickiness, intimacy, soft caresses, lingering smiles, long satisfying sighs, and silent twilight conversations into the worlds of those who are open to it. I called out names and saw visions of sweet souls who were my intended recipients. The energy flowed stronger and my hands started sweating. I did good. Dear reader this includes you. Open up and take it all in. There is more than enough to go around.
I have never pursued a lover quite like this. I love myself in all kinds of ways but this act of summoning a lover feels quite different. I have no clue what the end result will be, but this feeling is powerful. What am I bringing to myself? What page am I turning? This hot honey drenched love is a ride that is both thrilling and serene, slippery and gentle, dirty and healing, satisfying and everlasting. This is delicious and moan inducing and I am forgetting all about business. Maybe that's the point.
Blame this post on Richard Sherman, Old school full beard James Earl Jones, Erzulie Freda, and friends new and old.
It's a full moon tonight and Erzulie Freda has been calling me. I have hesitated to respond. She is loving and compassionate but a little shaky all the same. It's like she knows I have my eye on her. It's like she knows I don't believe all that they say about her. She continues to call and I am starting to trust her call. She is calm. She isn't pushy. She knows I have my reservations. The ball is in my court. It is all up to me. She shows me her story and she knows I will be appalled from the first sentence. She knows exactly how I will react. She knows that stories of wealth, love, and beauty would never be enough to sway me so she shows me the way she has been shaped and formed. The light-skinned twin sent off to Europe to become a prostitute. The woman who fell in love with her sister's betrothed. Her heart pierced. The woman whose beauty open doors but locked her down as well. She is telling me that they will take from her but they don't want her to rise. She will give them wealth, love, and joy and they give her sweets, flowers, and perfume. I don't care for those things enough to go along with that system. I want to know her heart. I must know her story. She knew this from the beginning and that is why she called. She saw a wild child who wouldn't care about silly human things. She saw a wild child who would help her rise. She saw a wild child who would tell her story.