This is for the ladies... and the men who truly are in service to us...

The work I do with energy healing is rooted in pursuing and achieving balance. One the most common imbalances I am finding in my work is the balance of feminine and masculine energy in women and men. Women, whether they recognize or not have been in training to be men, and they can't figure out why they are so unhappy or feel so powerless. In my opinion, there has been an all out assault on feminine energy within women and masculine energy within men through so-called societal standards, media, and religion. Since I have a yoni between my legs and two lovely mounds of nourishment on my chest, I will focus on feminine energy in this post.

As I am growing as a woman, I find myself really having to dig deep to define exactly what it means to be a woman. There are great people such as Lenon Honor, Ayida Honor, and Reverend Goddess Charmaine (google them) whose words and hearts have helped me tremendously in truly understanding what this whole thing is all about but it still comes down to me. In my past relationships, I always noted how every guy I dated seemed to be very aware of my power as a woman, but I wasn't. One guy even said, "Women really don't know how powerful they are." I remember listening to his words and wondering what my power really was. Don't worry, I am on it now!

As women, we can pull anything we want into our existence. We are receivers and our yonis are our portal. In some ways we know that, but our culture has taught us that this is also our downfall, our curse. We are taught that our yonis and our sexual energy are only for sexual intercourse and childbirth. We are taught that the power of our yonis can hurt us by attracting men and sexual partners who are only out to hunt and conquer.  We are taught to be victims to our own yonis! We are taught as young girls to cross our legs and keep them closed. We are not taught that we can use the power of our yonis to create the most beautiful life for ourselves (beyond childbirth). Well I say, "Open them legs with wisdom and confidence and bring into your world all that you desire!" *in a southern accent*

We are creators. We can truly create life. I feel only those women who are artists know how deep this really is beyond childbirth. Luckily I am one of them, so I learned what it means to nourish an idea and bring it to life. I know the pleasure and joy of shaping and molding one of my creations. I know the satisfaction of giving it what it needs so that it can be divine gift to all of whom encounter it. Most of all, I know the importance of my role as creator and nurturer of life. It is a full-time job and one of the greatest I can think of. The other great one is being in service to a woman who can do all of that. Now imagine if those two teamed up...Straight fiyah!!!

I am writing this today to inspire all woman who read this to step into their womanhood, for real.  Yes, I am stirring the pot, your honey pot to be exact. Let the sweetness flow into your life. Allow yourself to receive. Literally open your legs and receive all of the wonderful experiences you can think of that are aligned with your highest good.

Sometimes showing is better telling...

Love...I'll open my legs to that.
Being appreciated for who I am...I'll open my legs to that.
A vegan chef to prepare me delicious meals...I'll open my legs to that.
Multitudes of men who serve, honor, respect, and protect me...I'll open my legs to that.
A castle on the sand...I'll open my legs to that.
A thriving healing practice...I'll open my legs to that.
A loving environment to live in...I'll open my legs to that.
Delicious vegan butter pecan ice cream...I'll open my legs to that.

so on and so on.
What will you open your legs to?

If your balance is off, then let's schedule a session. Together we will get you on your path to truly enjoying womanhood. If you only knew how committed I am to this... For more info ----> Click here. and I WILL OPEN MY LEGS TO THAT!

Are you ready to do "the work"? I have said it before that I can only be called a healer because I can heal myself, not because I can heal someone else. This week I feel this truth more than ever. Many people are trained to externalize personal power and to rely on something or someone else to make it all better. Doing energy healing work, I have encountered clients who aren't willing to do their own work but instead to rely upon my "healing powers". I don't support this kind of interaction because it essentially dis-empowers the client and that is counterproductive.  healing always begins and ends with the person who intends to heal, I am there as a facilitator. So what is "the work" that I expect clients to be willing and ready to do?

First I have to say how I feel Reiki works. It is called an healing energy but I don't feel it is because it heals, but really because it helps you to connect to your healing potential. Some practitioners may disagree with me but ah well. I feel at our essence we are perfect, we are well-being, we are divine love, and we are whole. In many ways, I think this is why I feel such a youthfulness and lightness with Reiki. Essentially, I have been able to tap into who and what I really am and allow it to be my dominate expression. When we are children we are closest to that of what we really are which is why as I gone on this healing journey I continue to become more child-like. As we grow, and the lessons of life whip us around a bit, we grow further away from that sense of well-being, divinity, love, and wholeness. Reiki comes in and creates a powerful yet gentle bridge to who you are which allows healing to occur. But with all of that, the question remains to you, my future client, what is your "work"?

You have free will and healing is dependent on you using it. Reiki can do everything I said, but you have to open the door and allow it to flow within. The amount of healing that occurs is determined by how deep you are willing to go and how much you are willing to confront. What doors are you willing to open? Reiki and I can't do that for you. I remember watching this documentary about how deep the ocean really is. There are organisms in the ocean that we may never see because we can't make equipment to survive the environmental conditions of the ocean. When I think of healing, I think about the ocean. If at the deepest part of the ocean lies my heaven, how much am I willing to release, change, transform, learn, and confront to get there. Am I willing to put in the effort come what may? Reiki will help you get there faster and safely but first you have to be willing to get in the water and swim with the sharks, whales, stingrays, and all other deadly sea creatures.

What does NOT doing "the work" look like?
If you find yourself wanting a session out of curiosity, receiving a session, then getting guidance from your practitioner, and then not following up on anything suggested to help you further your healing process, you have just wasted your time. Metaphorically, you are floating on the surface of the ocean on a life raft without any intentions of diving deep. You know you need assistance but you are not willing to do your part for many reasons, fear of change or the unknown usually being the culprit. If you find yourself loving the "healing energy" of someone else and keep on wanting to go back and back because you feel they are "healing" you, you are not doing "the work". You are on the life raft and think the occasional fish that plops up on your raft and the splash of water that offers refreshment from the sun is going to save you. You need to get off the raft and grow some gills. If you are out to "test" Reiki, you are in a jacuzzi miles away from the ocean. Last but not least, if you love the attention that you get when in a healing session and the philosophy of healing, but when things come up to heal you suppress or deny them, you are not doing "the work". You are on the beach taking pictures as your feet are occasionally dampened by the tide and when you see a image you don't like, you just delete it. It is still right there in the ocean but you pretend as if it doesn't exist. Put the camera down, get naked, and dive in.

I am joyfully here for those who are ready to do "the work". If you are willing to go deep, then I will support you along the way. I will give you insight, tips, guidance and even homework so that your journey can be a beautiful one, but it can only be beautiful if you intend it to be so...and I am all about beauty.

More information:
For info on my services and pricing ...click here
For more on my view on the role of  a healer ...click here
What is Reiki according to me? ...click here
About me ...click here
For healing tips ...click here

Anyone that knows me now, knows that I love children. Love. Them. But if you knew me in my younger years, you would have thought I was allergic to them. Even as a child, I wouldn't have younger friends. I was too cool for them. I can honestly say, I spent most of my childhood running away from being a child. At nine, if someone said, "Let's play!" I would look at them as if they have committed a great offense to my very nature. Snobbishly, I would reply, "I don't play." Things started to change when all of my friends started to have children. I found that I really related to their children, in fact, more than I did to them. I liked what they had to say. I could see how smart and wise they were about life. They made sense. Now as an adult, I am happy to play. I love having fun and as one of my friends recently observed, I don't need a reason to have fun, I just do it. I love where I am at in my life, but I have to admit it was a journey to get here.

A lot of my sense of wonder and joy can definitely be attributed to Reiki being in my life. When I first became attuned to the energy, I laughed about everything for almost a month. I laughed about things that society says I shouldn't laugh about, but it felt so good, I couldn't stop. Talk about healing and releasing. But even before that, I had glimpses of this kind of joy over the years. Like when I would give full concerts to anyone who would listen or who got trapped in a car with me. One time on a road trip, I sang for almost 2 hours straight, no commercials, full songs, because we didn't have a radio. I sang every song I had memorized down to every adlib, ooh and ahh to my cousins who definitely didn't know what they were in for. I love to sing by the way. When I look back, I realize I have always been a big and admittedly eccentric kid, but it has taken me a long time to embrace that in me. I think I saw it as a weakness. Everyone around me always seemed to be growing up and I was getting younger. I thought there was something wrong with me.

Things changed when I finally took the plunge and decided to teach elementary students. Miss Kiki was born. I started out so serious because I wanted to be "grown up", mature, and a "good" teacher. It didn't work; I was absolutely miserable and the scary part was that my condition was socially accepted as "normal". Since I knew I didn't get into teaching to be miserable, I followed my mother's advice who is a teacher and fellow big kid. She told me to have fun. Then I listened to my heart and my heart told me to love the children. From there I had the greatest time. I would make up songs, do one-woman role play skits, dance, joke, make up games, all in the name of "teaching". We would end each lesson with I love yous and humungous smiles. I wouldn't even consider myself a teacher because I truly played all day and it worked. I knew I did something right when a student demanded for the lesson to start. He was like, "Let's get this party started!" and I was like, "You ain't said nothin' but a word."

Tapping into my youthfulness, inner joy, or Inner Child keeps me creative, excited about life, and happy. It is wild that I spent so many years trying to suppress it in order to fit and survive in a world that says miserable is normal. Well I can't say I was ever that successful, but I did try. I was actually ashamed and embarrassed about the greatness that I am. Now, with Reiki in my life, I couldn't go back if I tried. It helped me heal. It was like, " What you waitin' for? Girl go 'head and do you!" and I was like, "Really? Should I?" and then it was like, " Uh... yeah!" and then I was like, "Alright! Here I go. Watch me crank it. Watch me roll." and then there was a dance. When I work with a client, they often feel relaxed and have a great sense of well being after a session. I on the other hand, feel giddy and then I get excited and then I giggle and do a little dance (I like to dance). The love and excitement I feel about life and myself is why some women have children. They want that feeling . I am writing this today to say that if you want to feel unconditional love, joy, excitement, and creativity then find it within yourself. Let that Inner Child who loves to have fun come out. Do what you love. I used to tell my students that Miss Kiki came to have fun and that they weren't going to get in the way of that. My happiness, the love that I felt, the fun that I had, was never dependent on them and they knew it.

Observe children if you don't understand what I have shared. They don't wait for anyone to have fun. They don't need permission to love. Boredom never lasts long for them because that just means it is time to get creative. They are eager to learn. They take risks. Why would anyone try to grow out of those skills?

So many times this week I have been reminded about how I made it to Seoul, South Korea and this morning I found myself giving another person advice on how to get what they want. The year I spent in Korea was pure evidence of the power of love and how I use my emotions to create my experiences. If you are having a hard time manifesting your dreams, use my story to help you make it happen. Love is the key.

Here is my "Korean dream" story...
In the past I had a very close relationship with television. As a child I am sure I watched more TV than most human beings on the planet. I used to love reading the TV guide only to see how accurate I was.  I knew what was on every channel. Even though we didn't have cable until 2 weeks before I left for college, I was never one to say there was nothing to watch on TV. When I got to college, ironically, I was one of the few people who didn't have a television in their dorm room. This was the first step in my weaning process, and believe me over the years, it has been painful. I used to love soap operas and watched them faithfully for almost 20 years (I started watching them at a very young age). It was the only reason I learned how to use a VCR to record. As I grew more into spiritual knowledge and knowledge of the self, my attachment to TV decreased. In fact, about 3 years ago, I threw away my television. It was brave move. I was so proud of myself and then I opened up my laptop and started watching Hulu. Ha ha!

The great thing about Hulu was that I had better control over what I was watching and I was reading and attempting to meditate a lot more. So per week, I can say I was watching under 3 hours of TV. Then I became unemployed and all of my shows were on hiatus and I really didn't know what to do with myself. I only watch comedies so my selection was very limited and I managed to watch almost everything in the comedy section on Hulu. I was at the end and I happened to see a show (Playful Kiss) that looked kind of anime-ish but without the animation. Out of curiosity and the absence of options, I watched the first episode. It was fascinating, a full hour long, and ridiculously cute. I quickly researched it and realized I was watching a Korean drama. I was hooked. It was everything I thought television should be, long, dramatic, funny, and cute. I found myself always smiling at the screen. I loved the way they approached romantic love, the sound of the language, and the new culture that I was being introduced to. I became entranced by Korean dramas. I felt like for once someone, no, a whole country totally understood me and what I wanted to see.

One day I found a drama entitled Coffee Prince and it was with that drama, I fell in love, real and true love. I remember calling my friend to make the grand announcement and telling her I was in love with all of the sincerity in the world. It was like I was announcing my engagement to be married. From that point on, I knew I had to go to Korea and be with "my people". Keep in mind I was unemployed and running out of money and unable to pay my rent. I would apply and apply and not get anything. I would get so close to having a job and then all of sudden people changed their mind. Had it been another time, I would have lost my mind, but truthfully, I was happily unemployed. I loved what I was doing. I was staying in the house, only leaving for food(I ate healthily), sleeping on a random schedule, meditating, studying spiritual teachings, talking to the moon, and watching Korean dramas. To an outsider, it would have looked incredibly disturbing, but for me, I was happy and in love. I had lost weight, I was pale, physically weak due to inactivity, broke, and in love. Korean dramas became my way of life and when I had to move back home, the first thing I did was made sure I could watch Korean dramas. I attribute my sanity during that time to my love for the dramas, the new culture that I had to experience, and my developing awareness of myself as a spiritual being.

My awareness of peace and my love of K-dramas kept me going. I would study the dramas and try to learn the language. I read blogs. I would schedule my day around k-dramas. I was totally immersed. When people would ask about me, my mother would tell them I was studying Korean culture, and I was. However, when I went out and was asked what I did, I would confidently tell people I watch Korean dramas. There was no shame. Love is truly stronger than pride. From the moment I fell in love, I knew I was going to Korea. I didn't know how, but I knew I was going. When you can't get a job in your field or a simple job at a juice bar and get fired from a tea shop for not selling enough tea all while having a Masters degree, a significant amount of "f#ck it" comes over you. I was just going to go for what I loved and I didn't care if it seemed crazy or irrational. In fact, during those days, the only time I was unhappy was when I was applying for jobs, now that brought on severe depression, so I stopped that nonsense. One day, one of my mom's friends asked about me, and my mom told her about my "Korean studies" and immediately the woman put me in contact with someone she knew who was living and working in Korea. I contacted him and he gave me a clear and concise blueprint on how to get there in one email. I followed his instructions exactly and in less than a year after falling in love with Korea, I landed in Incheon international airport ready to start a truly magical year. I was home, well the world is my home, but you get the point. It was a very involved process, but it never felt like it because I was moving on love.

So what is the lesson? Well like I told the young woman this morning, if you really want to make something amazing happen in your life, you have to be willing to fall in love.  Everything you create in your life, the so-called good and bad, is fueled by your emotions whether you realize it or not. Imagine if you fueled your creations(thought) with love. Love is unstoppable. It will break through all obstacles. Think about what you have done for love, for your boyfriend, girlfriend, wife, husband. Now apply that same love to the things you want to manifest in your life. Can you see what love can do for you? When I met Korean dramas, I liked what I saw and what they had to give and I open up my heart. I was willing to fall in love. I took the plunge, the leap, the risk. When I got to Korea and lived there, was it anything like what I saw the dramas? Yes and mostly no. But because I moved on love, I got more than I could have ever imagined out of the experience. So much more. So so much more. The funny thing is that I haven't seen a drama since leaving for Korea.

Start paying attention to your emotions. How are you really feeling about what you are doing? Start paying attention. Use your habits(non-destructive), personality, and interests to create a love affair. Out of my love affair, I traveled across the world, went paragliding, got scrubbed down by a strong woman, sat in a crystal walled steam room, met amazing new friends, loved the most lovely children, delved deeper into my creativity, discovered buried talents, learned how to swing dance, incorporated more raw foods into my diet, had nepalese food, became more magical, started a love affair with myself, became a Reiki master, started my own growing business ^^, and the list goes on. Working in a bakery for 2 days because I was desperate for a job was extremely hard work, getting to Seoul, South Korea on the wings of love was easy and breezy. Dare to fall in love and see what happens.

Do you need more? Have you closed yourself to love so much that you don't know where to begin? Contact me for a Reiki session at [email protected] and together we will change that.

What is personal growth for? Do you find yourself working to improve yourself  so that you can go back to those old places and old people from your past just to show off how well you have done? Be honest. Is that what it is really all about? If so, all you are really doing is living for your past and truthfully, that isn't growth and it isn't living. Even more, it is a block on your path that you must remove. Personal growth is about being courageous enough to go into the unknown, to go beyond what you thought was possible. It takes you having the knowledge that what you are doing isn't about anyone except yourself and the future vision of your life that you are giving to.

A few posts back I wrote about forgiveness in a two-part series (Part 1 & Part 2). I said that forgiveness is about giving energy to a greater future, a greater you. Forgiveness is integral to growing. Several times I have heard the drama-drenched statement, "I can forgive, but I can't forget." Hell I have probably said it thinking I was really deep, well I know I have said it. It is almost always said like it is a threat. Who are you threatening really? Your feelings have already been hurt, the pain has already happened. If you have truly forgiven, you have tended to your wound, and created a greater vision to give your energy to. So who are you threatening with your amazing memory? It is very rare that the person or situation that hurt you will be at your mercy, no matter what Hollywood tells you. So who are you threatening? You are threatening your own great future. It is almost like saying, no matter how great things get, I won't allow it to be fully great because I rather sit around and brood about how this past thing that hurt me. Right away, it says you still haven't healed and that is okay, but understand what it really means because then you can do something about it. You don't have to be healed in order to forgive, but if you are actively forgiving, you are healing. Let's be clear, this is different than learning your lessons. But if you learned your lesson why do you have to go back and take the same class that you mastered. Learning your lesson isn't passing with a C, it is mastering the subject and then being in the position to teach someone else. Until then you are still learning and that is great, but don't be confused.

Personally I love learning and I have also learned that sometimes we visit lessons we have already learned just so that we can feel at the top of the class. At some point, you have to be willing to be honest and get the nerve up to learn new lessons. Without that honesty and courage, there is no personal growth. So can you forget? I don't know, but the real question is what are you remembering? Are you able to see the full picture now? Can you be grateful for the past because of all of the growth you have experienced in your present? Can you be grateful for the contrast because of how it has inspired your greater vision that you are now giving to? What are you remembering?

No matter how hard you try, you can't go back. Sure you can call those old people, visit your old neighborhood, remember your old school, but you will quickly find you cannot fit there anymore. You can't fit in the past so why even try. If you think about all of your acquired wisdom as furniture, imagine trying to fit it all in your childhood home. It doesn't fit nor does it match the decor. It's clashing and sometimes that is hard to admit.

In my work with myself and my clients, I use Reiki to address the root causes of these past pains so that our personal energy can be focused on truly forgiving, creating a greater vision to give to. My ideal client is someone ready to go beyond any perceived limitations and then keep going. Our growth is exponential and I am here to remove the blocks and give you love for your fuel. Going to the past to flaunt your growth can be an ego boost but it is ultimately delusional, and in the words of Sweet Brown, "Ain't nobody got time for that!" You are greater than that. Look to the past with gratitude and more importantly give your energy to a greater vision.