So I was listening to some Marvin Gaye and... Isn't that how so many of these conversations begin?
Well really, I was in the shower, listening to Marvin Gaye getting my clean on and this idea for a post just popped into my head. They say that prostitution is the world's oldest profession but I truly feel a need to contend with that. I think, no I know, healers have had that same timeless demand. The real question is what were those women doing then in this profession we call prostitution? Much like everything we know now, the meaning and significance of sacred arts (especially sex) have been diluted, confused, and/or devolved. I will share with you something I know from my heart. and you are not required to believe it but take this journey with me anyway. Those ancient women were teaching men to love, truly love and they were treated as sacred. It wasn't their goal to have lifelong customers, it was their sacred charge to give them the tools to be able to truly love their mates and to love themselves. Well that sounds like a healer to me. If we look into Taoism we know that sexual energy is used to heal the body. Check out Healing Love by Mantak Chia if this is all foreign to you. Taoism teaches you to circulate chi aka ki (ReiKI hint! hint!) throughout your body to facilitate healing amongst other things. Essentially you are moving love around the body. Oooh wee! We can also look at ancient Indian temples and see people engaging in Sexual acts. Isn't a temple a healing place? I mean what do you go to church for, to shoot the shit? I am pretty sure we go to these places for healing. So if your body is your temple why aren't you finding ways to get the healing energy flowing? And I'm not talking about going to find someone to bump beauties with because that is a whole other post. I am talking about beginning to recognize how you have the power to heal yourself and that it is truly built in, innate. Reiki anyone?
So back to my sacred ladies of the night...and day... or should I say Sexual healers (thanks Marvin)? These women were the masters of their craft but how about now? Well now you have someone called a sex surrogate. Their job is more aligned with what those ancient women did but now they are dealing with modern issues, sexual abuse, Catholic guilt, Mormon guilt, incest, pornography addictions, etc. They help people begin to feel confident with their sexuality, in the nude. They are like a super hands on counselor but the most important part is that they empower their clients to never come back. Our modern day prostitute or sex worker (as some prefer to be called) is more connected to the addictive consumerism that is pervasive in our society. They want you to come back. There are so many reasons for that but the main one is that they make more money if their customers feel weak.
Kiki, why don't you bring this all together? Oh okay. No problem.
As a healer of the non-sexual variety, I thought about how I want to connect with people and what my goals were in this business (before I took a shower today). I realized (with Marvin Gaye's help) I wanted to be able to really work with people so that they would feel so strong and equipped that they would eventually not comeback (but of course we can still be friends). So let's get it on! I am Kiki, your Reiki Surrogate. Thank you, go within.
It was another Free Reiki Friday and I had a humongous list. There were many people who were on the list that I didn't know at all since I posted the event in an international Reiki group. As I received notification that a new person was attending I would write their name down on my list and from where they sent me their intention to participate, twitter, email, facebook, etc, so that I could follow up with them later. On that day I sent Reiki to many people whose names I couldn't pronounce. These were the kind of names that I had to carefully copy because I wasn't sure how the letters even came together to make sounds. I didn't know if they were young or old, male or female. All I had was a name that revealed zilch.
So let me tell you the story about my session with someone I will call Rihkpeyhg...
Rihkpeyhg came to me via facebook. Prior to the session, I didn't look at their profile picture or do any research as I figure it to be unnecessary and time-consuming. Immediately I was drawn to the area of their sacral chakra. It felt feminine. I could feel a softness and a sensuality. As I stayed there, I started to feel a great sexual desire. Based off of cultural precepts, it would have been easily interpreted as masculine as we sometimes think only men have intense sexual desire. The feeling of sexual desire in Rihkpeyhg was strong, overwhelming, but I also got the sense that they didn't get to exercise their sexual prowess as much as they would like. Immediately I got the message that they needed to channel the energy into creative projects so that they can be more balanced and productive. I got the sense that the desire was taking over their life. As I tried to move throughout their field, I kept on going back there. Marvin Gaye was playing on my radio and the mood was very clear. Needless to say, from all of that swirling around in that sexual, creative energy, I was enjoying the session. Even though I loved how it felt, I knew a part of my job was to impart wisdom on how to use the energy. The Reiki energy flowed from me helping to bring balance to Rihkpeyhg and so did the message. I wrote down everything I got and then moved on to the next person.
After all of the sessions were done, the arduous task of sending everyone their personal messages began. At that point, I had mostly forgotten the details of their sessions and relied on my notes. Since I had to send Rihkpeyhg the message I had for them, it also meant I was going to see what they looked like. In my mind I had pictured Rihkpeyhg to be a middle-aged man who hadn't got any in a while based off of the feeling and the message. I felt like the message was saying, "Look dude, you are going to have to do something else with all of that energy 'cause you ain't getting none...at least not to match all that you have going on." I was shocked and bemused to find out that good ole Rihkpeyhg was a teenaged girl, and not the legal kind. Immediately I was questioning what I should do because essentially I would be talking to a child, who wasn't my own, about sex. When in doubt, do more research, right?
I dug deeper and realized that this girl had a boyfriend and even though I wasn't about that life at her age, I knew plenty of girls that were. I had to sit my inner virgin down and give her the message intended for her. While staying true to the message, I wrote to her as if her parents were over her shoulder reading her private messages. I was honest with her telling her I hesitated in relaying the message, but I also let her know what I picked up focusing the message on telling her alternative ways she could use the energy. I also lightly, like a dust particle in the atmosphere, acknowledged that she clearly wanted to boink her boyfriend. She replied with a big thank you and I felt relief when I felt her receive the message and the energy.
Ahh to be young and receive Reiki... The whole thing made me think about how cool it would have been if I knew someone like me when I was that age. No judgment, just wisdom. I'm glad Rihkpeyhg wasn't a middleaged man. She taught me a lot.
I have done 3 Free Reiki Fridays since I have started my practice. I started it because I wanted to get more experience and find a way to introduce Reiki and what I do to people/potential clients. I have always been a one-on-one person even at parties, so I decided instead of sending out a big Reiki blast to all of the participants, I would work on each person individually. The con to this is that it takes a lot of time (several hours) if you have a list of 50 people. but the pro is that I get to connect with so many different and amazing people while gaining a ton of invaluable experience. My lists have all been comprised of close friends, old friends, and people I know through Facebook, and then complete strangers...oh and my mom. She loves free Reiki.
Prior to doing Free Reiki Friday, I knew I could could connect with those who have transitioned, but for the most part it was faint and experimental. Like I was able to connect with one of my friends who had passed and a few family members, but it wasn't easy, clear or whenever I wanted. So there I was with my list and working through each person on my list while jamming to the likes of Thelonious Monk, Duke Ellington, and Coltrane. I was halfway through the session I was giving to someone who happened to be my friend and suddenly my Pandora decides to play the jazz standard "Someone To Watch Over Me". At first I was going to skip the song because I didn't want the singing to mess up my concentration, but something told me to listen. The energy was flowing strongly so I didn't contest, I simply listened. A pretty standard session was changing dramatically as I felt tears starting to flow from my eyes. I felt so much love. My hands felt guided to go outside of her field and in my mind's eye I saw flashes of a man. I instantly knew it was her father. The song seemed to be in slow motion because each word sung had such a deeper meaning than ever before. I continued to cry involuntary. It was weird because I could tell we didn't speak the same language as I could actually feel his message being translated. It was truly heart to heart communication and my tears were joyous ones. I usually prefer a laughing fit over tears, but this time I took the tears with grace. His love for her was flooding over me as I absorbed his message. He came through so strongly. It felt like he was waiting for an opportunity to reach out to her and there I was.
If I had been playing around with communicating with our ancestors and loved ones before, that time was undeniably real. It was such a beautiful experience for me as I truly wasn't expecting it. It felt like time stopped and I stepped into an entirely different dimension. I wrote down the notes from her session and went to the next person on my list. The show had to go on. Later I sat down and wrote to her about what I experienced. She replied in gratitude. I can't be sure if she believed what I wrote, but I know she had to feel it.
All of my posts are related to the direction my Reiki practice is going and it seems like the theme as of late is all about relationships. Take this ride with me as we delve into my mind (filtered through my heart) to get to a bit of what it means to really have a healthy relationship. I have been spending the last two weeks (at least) working to have a deeper understanding of our connection as men and women because the demands of my practice have prompted, no, demanded me to go there. I am convinced that we are supposed to be together, us gals and guys. Our biology has us fitting together like puzzle pieces, sure, but it is more than that. It is in the pull and draw we emit towards each other that goes beyond words and explanation. We use the word "love", but right now I feel it isn't enough. It is the bond that goes beyond breath, sight, sound...into stillness. It is in our ability to create new life. Everything I have written isn't news to anyone I am sure, but I ask you to act like it is. Just do it. I go through this process every time to gain deeper insight; I assume nothing. Do that with me now.
I had this vision of men and women having a party together in some distant desert land. The women crowned in golden headdresses, the men draped in golden sashes, and the mummified corpse of their matriarch adorn in light blue and gold gently watching over the people as they revered her. Her presence got the party started. They had a ceremonial courting dance of sorts. The women would kick out their feet to the drum beat while flicking their wrists as they crossed their chests. The men would dance around the women with their backs to them as their shoulders seemed to lead the direction of their bodies. As the men would get closer to the women, the ladies would further entice by placing their hands on the sides of their face making a bursting like motion. It was a swirling dramatic scene. I sat in all white watching them in awe and wonder. They were so happy and exuberant. Joy twinkled in their mingling and I felt like a kid peaking in on my parents. But then there was a turn of events. The men started to be called away to a duty of some sort. It felt like war, a struggle only they would experience. As the men were disappearing the women kept on dancing. It was like they didn't want to lose the moment, their culture. The kept dancing but the movements, although precise, lacked their previous luster. The men started to comeback but now they were in the background, the sidelines, just watching. The women now danced with themselves. There was little interaction and it was almost like the men were never a part of this once sacred dance. The vision ended.
The first thing that came to mind was the so-called independent women (and men) of our time. What does it mean if it just means you have become accustomed to a lackluster life? What does tradition mean if it is no longer dynamic for the whole? If together they could make so much magic, why not find a way to do it in the new conditions? We create NEW life together, don't we?
The second thing that came to mind was understanding how the individual experiences we have in relationships often go overlooked or ignored. When we bond sexually with anyone it goes beyond the physical experience; you have made a secure connection with that person's energy. That is where the true marriage really happens, but so much of our current culture thrives in ignoring this reality. Without intercourse I can feel the emotions of someone else because I am an empath. It took me years to realize certain emotions were not my own and without emotional intelligence dealing with these mysterious emotions can be crippling and downright terrifying. In a relationship although your partner didn't experience your day, they feel all of the emotional baggage you have picked up through the bond you have made with each other. If your way of being with your emotions is to ignore them or pushed them down, then you have done the same to your partner. There can be no growth together if that's how you roll and there isn't a place for them in your world or on the dance floor. If what they are feeling is beyond the scope of your experience, it means you have to sit down and listen so that you can learn about what you are ALREADY empathizing and work through it together. That is the commitment you made when you were doing all that dancing and legs spreading. You bonded to their physical body consciously and most likely unconsciously to their mental, emotional, and spiritual body as well. A relationship cannot thrive if you ignore this.
I want to say there is a third thing just to keep this going but I don't think I had one. I did start talking to my friends about it, my vision. I told them they were going to help me write a blog and love them to bits, they did. I received both feminine and masculine perspectives because I love balance. What I found in talking to them is the same issue that I have consistently come across, the inability to receive. In so many cases, when one partner is put in a position to fend for themselves (often the woman) they form a protective shield. It becomes hard for them to receive because they have been accustomed to doing everything for themselves, being independent. The shock of acquiring these survivor skills is the same force that holds them into their pattern. The biggest problem is that this act (the holding pattern) isn't done out of trust or love, it is out of fear and and illusion of necessity. So this is the shift that needs to be made. We have to start moving into trust and love. We have to open our hearts and listen to its wisdom and open our legs and receive our puzzle piece (HA!). As we listen to our hearts, we have to recognize the connection we have to each other. Ever heard of the phrase, "Loving me is loving you."? If you really embark upon the journey of knowing yourself, you will also start to see all of your issues that are waiting to be healed. As you love each one, you also extend that love to your partner and then the legs start to creak open a little wider...bit by bit.
I'm convinced we weren't meant to do this life thing alone. Physically you entered the world alone but the bonds you have made along the way go way beyond the human flesh. Michael Jackson said, "you're just another part of me" and "you are not alone". I think he was going somewhere with that. It is up to us to break the pattern. He has to ask that lady to dance and lay out his confessions in his motions (energy in motion=emotion). She has to say yes and allow her body to move with his. His motions are new and different, but she is skilled at receiving this new knowledge, and finding her own rhythm as they groove. As they stay in this flow, they create something new, because that is what they do. They know as long as they have the music, the floor is theirs, and they always have the music.
Open your legs to healthy relationships. Open your legs to greater knowledge of self. Open them up to learning something new about your partner. Open them up to trust. Open your legs to that loving lion. Open them legs to divine partnership. Open 'em up to emotional intelligence. Open 'em w i d e to healing.
When we heal together...
The first post I ever made in this blog was about going within. I was learning the uses of Reiki in my own life and was applying it to everything. I wrote that post shortly after I did my first meditation with Reiki in which I went deep within myself. You see, I was asking those big questions: Who am I? What am I here for? What is this all about? Where are my ancestors? It was a powerful experience that yielded several revelations, the most important one was that I was not alone. Within me was a world of ancestors, guides, and yes angels. Since then, the revelations have been continuous and I am convinced that there is no plateau of knowledge. If I am always growing, so is knowledge and so is my spiritual posse.
No matter what religious beliefs you hold, eventually you have to realize that your spiritual journey is all about you. You can read books, blog posts like this one, watch videos, go to church, have soul-stirring tantric sex but eventually you have to walk away from it all (hopefully you will return to the sex) and deal with yourself to find the truth. Recently I started learning about galaxies and planets and how there are billions of earth-like planets. This made me feel very small, really small. It isn't a concept that is easy to wrap your mind around. Hell, I trip out when I drive in a neighborhood and realize that people live in those homes. So, to think there are billions of earth-like planets in existence...wow... But then, I also remember the never-ending vast universe I know that is within and it also makes me look around my life, the biggest life I know, and the only one I have control over.
To be honest with you, sometimes I need help. I needed my mother to act like a cheerleader (literally) yesterday so that I could get motivated to wash my clothes, all five loads. I needed my dear friend to talk to me about the beauty of body hair because I was sad about saying goodbye to it since the weather is getting warmer, genuinely sad, even though when I tried to cry about it nothing came out. My mother laughed at that attempt. I needed comfort from an angelic presence in the middle of the night when the astral realm was getting super intense for me. There are times when we need guidance that we can trust and it can come from beyond our physical perception.
When I did that meditation, I asked where my ancestors were. I realized that they were within. I actually saw and felt them and since I knew where I was, I knew where they were. After that, I began speaking to my ancestors with greater confidence. I was no longer speaking empty words to an empty room, hoping someone would hear me. I was no longer afraid to speak to guides who had come to me a few years back because I wasn't sure who I was speaking to. I was no longer skeptical of the existence of angels when I realized within I could fly, love, and glitter too. When I realized this whole world was inside of me, comprised me, it made no sense for me to deny the presence of those who could help me. Essentially I am helping myself.
Between my clients and the super magical people I meet, the most frequent thing I find myself telling them is to talk to their ancestors. Everyone's journey is unique and what works for me may not work for you. The ancient knowledge that you have within is your personal life manual. Why wouldn't you open it up? I am not someone who needs an expert or science to prove things to be true. All science is trying to do is explain spirituality. I rather just go to the source, which is me, to find out all I need to know. I trust my ancestors, guides, and angels to guide me in accordance to my highest good. I don't do it because it sounds cool or out of desperation, but because I feel their love and I know they are a part of me. I trust myself and my path.
You are the key to unlock all of the codes within you. All you have to do is tap into the love you are, start talking, and then shut up and listen. They will talk back, you just have to be willing to listen. This is especially for those of you who are intuitive and feel like you have energy or entities around you. Having these conversations will really help to release the fears you have regarding psychic gifts or the non-physical world you sense within and outside of you. I speak from experience. I have one of the baddest posses around and when I need them, they show up. Tap into yours!
How, you ask? Get creative and develop your own meditation. The goal is to go deeply within. If you always thought you were like water, see a lake, declare it is you, and go deep sea diving. I heard one person turned themselves inside out and explore from there. That sounded kind of gross to me but it worked for them. If you make the method, it will work. I don't care how you do it, I just want you to do it. Let this be your encouragement to go deeper and ask those big questions. Don't be surprised if Grandma shows up to chat it up with you.
As above, so below. As within, so without.
This is for the ladies... and the men who truly are in service to us...
The work I do with energy healing is rooted in pursuing and achieving balance. One the most common imbalances I am finding in my work is the balance of feminine and masculine energy in women and men. Women, whether they recognize or not have been in training to be men, and they can't figure out why they are so unhappy or feel so powerless. In my opinion, there has been an all out assault on feminine energy within women and masculine energy within men through so-called societal standards, media, and religion. Since I have a yoni between my legs and two lovely mounds of nourishment on my chest, I will focus on feminine energy in this post.
As I am growing as a woman, I find myself really having to dig deep to define exactly what it means to be a woman. There are great people such as Lenon Honor, Ayida Honor, and Reverend Goddess Charmaine (google them) whose words and hearts have helped me tremendously in truly understanding what this whole thing is all about but it still comes down to me. In my past relationships, I always noted how every guy I dated seemed to be very aware of my power as a woman, but I wasn't. One guy even said, "Women really don't know how powerful they are." I remember listening to his words and wondering what my power really was. Don't worry, I am on it now!
As women, we can pull anything we want into our existence. We are receivers and our yonis are our portal. In some ways we know that, but our culture has taught us that this is also our downfall, our curse. We are taught that our yonis and our sexual energy are only for sexual intercourse and childbirth. We are taught that the power of our yonis can hurt us by attracting men and sexual partners who are only out to hunt and conquer. We are taught to be victims to our own yonis! We are taught as young girls to cross our legs and keep them closed. We are not taught that we can use the power of our yonis to create the most beautiful life for ourselves (beyond childbirth). Well I say, "Open them legs with wisdom and confidence and bring into your world all that you desire!" *in a southern accent*
We are creators. We can truly create life. I feel only those women who are artists know how deep this really is beyond childbirth. Luckily I am one of them, so I learned what it means to nourish an idea and bring it to life. I know the pleasure and joy of shaping and molding one of my creations. I know the satisfaction of giving it what it needs so that it can be divine gift to all of whom encounter it. Most of all, I know the importance of my role as creator and nurturer of life. It is a full-time job and one of the greatest I can think of. The other great one is being in service to a woman who can do all of that. Now imagine if those two teamed up...Straight fiyah!!!
I am writing this today to inspire all woman who read this to step into their womanhood, for real. Yes, I am stirring the pot, your honey pot to be exact. Let the sweetness flow into your life. Allow yourself to receive. Literally open your legs and receive all of the wonderful experiences you can think of that are aligned with your highest good.
Sometimes showing is better telling...
Love...I'll open my legs to that.
Being appreciated for who I am...I'll open my legs to that.
A vegan chef to prepare me delicious meals...I'll open my legs to that.
Multitudes of men who serve, honor, respect, and protect me...I'll open my legs to that.
A castle on the sand...I'll open my legs to that.
A thriving healing practice...I'll open my legs to that.
A loving environment to live in...I'll open my legs to that.
Delicious vegan butter pecan ice cream...I'll open my legs to that.
so on and so on.
What will you open your legs to?
If your balance is off, then let's schedule a session. Together we will get you on your path to truly enjoying womanhood. If you only knew how committed I am to this... For more info ----> Click here. and I WILL OPEN MY LEGS TO THAT!
Are you ready to do "the work"? I have said it before that I can only be called a healer because I can heal myself, not because I can heal someone else. This week I feel this truth more than ever. Many people are trained to externalize personal power and to rely on something or someone else to make it all better. Doing energy healing work, I have encountered clients who aren't willing to do their own work but instead to rely upon my "healing powers". I don't support this kind of interaction because it essentially dis-empowers the client and that is counterproductive. healing always begins and ends with the person who intends to heal, I am there as a facilitator. So what is "the work" that I expect clients to be willing and ready to do?
First I have to say how I feel Reiki works. It is called an healing energy but I don't feel it is because it heals, but really because it helps you to connect to your healing potential. Some practitioners may disagree with me but ah well. I feel at our essence we are perfect, we are well-being, we are divine love, and we are whole. In many ways, I think this is why I feel such a youthfulness and lightness with Reiki. Essentially, I have been able to tap into who and what I really am and allow it to be my dominate expression. When we are children we are closest to that of what we really are which is why as I gone on this healing journey I continue to become more child-like. As we grow, and the lessons of life whip us around a bit, we grow further away from that sense of well-being, divinity, love, and wholeness. Reiki comes in and creates a powerful yet gentle bridge to who you are which allows healing to occur. But with all of that, the question remains to you, my future client, what is your "work"?
You have free will and healing is dependent on you using it. Reiki can do everything I said, but you have to open the door and allow it to flow within. The amount of healing that occurs is determined by how deep you are willing to go and how much you are willing to confront. What doors are you willing to open? Reiki and I can't do that for you. I remember watching this documentary about how deep the ocean really is. There are organisms in the ocean that we may never see because we can't make equipment to survive the environmental conditions of the ocean. When I think of healing, I think about the ocean. If at the deepest part of the ocean lies my heaven, how much am I willing to release, change, transform, learn, and confront to get there. Am I willing to put in the effort come what may? Reiki will help you get there faster and safely but first you have to be willing to get in the water and swim with the sharks, whales, stingrays, and all other deadly sea creatures.
What does NOT doing "the work" look like?
If you find yourself wanting a session out of curiosity, receiving a session, then getting guidance from your practitioner, and then not following up on anything suggested to help you further your healing process, you have just wasted your time. Metaphorically, you are floating on the surface of the ocean on a life raft without any intentions of diving deep. You know you need assistance but you are not willing to do your part for many reasons, fear of change or the unknown usually being the culprit. If you find yourself loving the "healing energy" of someone else and keep on wanting to go back and back because you feel they are "healing" you, you are not doing "the work". You are on the life raft and think the occasional fish that plops up on your raft and the splash of water that offers refreshment from the sun is going to save you. You need to get off the raft and grow some gills. If you are out to "test" Reiki, you are in a jacuzzi miles away from the ocean. Last but not least, if you love the attention that you get when in a healing session and the philosophy of healing, but when things come up to heal you suppress or deny them, you are not doing "the work". You are on the beach taking pictures as your feet are occasionally dampened by the tide and when you see a image you don't like, you just delete it. It is still right there in the ocean but you pretend as if it doesn't exist. Put the camera down, get naked, and dive in.
I am joyfully here for those who are ready to do "the work". If you are willing to go deep, then I will support you along the way. I will give you insight, tips, guidance and even homework so that your journey can be a beautiful one, but it can only be beautiful if you intend it to be so...and I am all about beauty.
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Anyone that knows me now, knows that I love children. Love. Them. But if you knew me in my younger years, you would have thought I was allergic to them. Even as a child, I wouldn't have younger friends. I was too cool for them. I can honestly say, I spent most of my childhood running away from being a child. At nine, if someone said, "Let's play!" I would look at them as if they have committed a great offense to my very nature. Snobbishly, I would reply, "I don't play." Things started to change when all of my friends started to have children. I found that I really related to their children, in fact, more than I did to them. I liked what they had to say. I could see how smart and wise they were about life. They made sense. Now as an adult, I am happy to play. I love having fun and as one of my friends recently observed, I don't need a reason to have fun, I just do it. I love where I am at in my life, but I have to admit it was a journey to get here.
A lot of my sense of wonder and joy can definitely be attributed to Reiki being in my life. When I first became attuned to the energy, I laughed about everything for almost a month. I laughed about things that society says I shouldn't laugh about, but it felt so good, I couldn't stop. Talk about healing and releasing. But even before that, I had glimpses of this kind of joy over the years. Like when I would give full concerts to anyone who would listen or who got trapped in a car with me. One time on a road trip, I sang for almost 2 hours straight, no commercials, full songs, because we didn't have a radio. I sang every song I had memorized down to every adlib, ooh and ahh to my cousins who definitely didn't know what they were in for. I love to sing by the way. When I look back, I realize I have always been a big and admittedly eccentric kid, but it has taken me a long time to embrace that in me. I think I saw it as a weakness. Everyone around me always seemed to be growing up and I was getting younger. I thought there was something wrong with me.
Things changed when I finally took the plunge and decided to teach elementary students. Miss Kiki was born. I started out so serious because I wanted to be "grown up", mature, and a "good" teacher. It didn't work; I was absolutely miserable and the scary part was that my condition was socially accepted as "normal". Since I knew I didn't get into teaching to be miserable, I followed my mother's advice who is a teacher and fellow big kid. She told me to have fun. Then I listened to my heart and my heart told me to love the children. From there I had the greatest time. I would make up songs, do one-woman role play skits, dance, joke, make up games, all in the name of "teaching". We would end each lesson with I love yous and humungous smiles. I wouldn't even consider myself a teacher because I truly played all day and it worked. I knew I did something right when a student demanded for the lesson to start. He was like, "Let's get this party started!" and I was like, "You ain't said nothin' but a word."
Tapping into my youthfulness, inner joy, or Inner Child keeps me creative, excited about life, and happy. It is wild that I spent so many years trying to suppress it in order to fit and survive in a world that says miserable is normal. Well I can't say I was ever that successful, but I did try. I was actually ashamed and embarrassed about the greatness that I am. Now, with Reiki in my life, I couldn't go back if I tried. It helped me heal. It was like, " What you waitin' for? Girl go 'head and do you!" and I was like, "Really? Should I?" and then it was like, " Uh... yeah!" and then I was like, "Alright! Here I go. Watch me crank it. Watch me roll." and then there was a dance. When I work with a client, they often feel relaxed and have a great sense of well being after a session. I on the other hand, feel giddy and then I get excited and then I giggle and do a little dance (I like to dance). The love and excitement I feel about life and myself is why some women have children. They want that feeling . I am writing this today to say that if you want to feel unconditional love, joy, excitement, and creativity then find it within yourself. Let that Inner Child who loves to have fun come out. Do what you love. I used to tell my students that Miss Kiki came to have fun and that they weren't going to get in the way of that. My happiness, the love that I felt, the fun that I had, was never dependent on them and they knew it.
Observe children if you don't understand what I have shared. They don't wait for anyone to have fun. They don't need permission to love. Boredom never lasts long for them because that just means it is time to get creative. They are eager to learn. They take risks. Why would anyone try to grow out of those skills?
What is personal growth for? Do you find yourself working to improve yourself so that you can go back to those old places and old people from your past just to show off how well you have done? Be honest. Is that what it is really all about? If so, all you are really doing is living for your past and truthfully, that isn't growth and it isn't living. Even more, it is a block on your path that you must remove. Personal growth is about being courageous enough to go into the unknown, to go beyond what you thought was possible. It takes you having the knowledge that what you are doing isn't about anyone except yourself and the future vision of your life that you are giving to.
A few posts back I wrote about forgiveness in a two-part series (Part 1 & Part 2). I said that forgiveness is about giving energy to a greater future, a greater you. Forgiveness is integral to growing. Several times I have heard the drama-drenched statement, "I can forgive, but I can't forget." Hell I have probably said it thinking I was really deep, well I know I have said it. It is almost always said like it is a threat. Who are you threatening really? Your feelings have already been hurt, the pain has already happened. If you have truly forgiven, you have tended to your wound, and created a greater vision to give your energy to. So who are you threatening with your amazing memory? It is very rare that the person or situation that hurt you will be at your mercy, no matter what Hollywood tells you. So who are you threatening? You are threatening your own great future. It is almost like saying, no matter how great things get, I won't allow it to be fully great because I rather sit around and brood about how this past thing that hurt me. Right away, it says you still haven't healed and that is okay, but understand what it really means because then you can do something about it. You don't have to be healed in order to forgive, but if you are actively forgiving, you are healing. Let's be clear, this is different than learning your lessons. But if you learned your lesson why do you have to go back and take the same class that you mastered. Learning your lesson isn't passing with a C, it is mastering the subject and then being in the position to teach someone else. Until then you are still learning and that is great, but don't be confused.
Personally I love learning and I have also learned that sometimes we visit lessons we have already learned just so that we can feel at the top of the class. At some point, you have to be willing to be honest and get the nerve up to learn new lessons. Without that honesty and courage, there is no personal growth. So can you forget? I don't know, but the real question is what are you remembering? Are you able to see the full picture now? Can you be grateful for the past because of all of the growth you have experienced in your present? Can you be grateful for the contrast because of how it has inspired your greater vision that you are now giving to? What are you remembering?
No matter how hard you try, you can't go back. Sure you can call those old people, visit your old neighborhood, remember your old school, but you will quickly find you cannot fit there anymore. You can't fit in the past so why even try. If you think about all of your acquired wisdom as furniture, imagine trying to fit it all in your childhood home. It doesn't fit nor does it match the decor. It's clashing and sometimes that is hard to admit.
In my work with myself and my clients, I use Reiki to address the root causes of these past pains so that our personal energy can be focused on truly forgiving, creating a greater vision to give to. My ideal client is someone ready to go beyond any perceived limitations and then keep going. Our growth is exponential and I am here to remove the blocks and give you love for your fuel. Going to the past to flaunt your growth can be an ego boost but it is ultimately delusional, and in the words of Sweet Brown, "Ain't nobody got time for that!" You are greater than that. Look to the past with gratitude and more importantly give your energy to a greater vision.
Some of my loves!!
Are you having issues with your mother? Do you resent her for not being supportive? Maybe she was too supportive? Do you feel she wasn't a good role model for you? Was she addicted to drugs or alcohol? Was she abusive? Was she weak? Do you have mother issues?
Have you confronted her and shared your feelings and still there no change? If you are reading this, then I am sure that you have seen how these issues have affected your relationships with women and you are ready to make a change. Mother issues have been coming up a lot recently in my Reiki sessions and since I know this issue resides in many, here is a tried and true way that you can begin to heal....
Get a plant...
Yup that is it. Get an indoor plant and learn how to take care of it. Get familiar with the soil. Put it on your feet, get your hands dirty. Make sure this plant isn't illegal or fruit-bearing. One because healing mother issues shouldn't put you in prison and you don't want something you are hoping to harvest. Ideally, you want a simple plant that does nothing except offer oxygen. You can take care of an outdoor plant but there is something special about taking care of a plant inside of your home. Take care of it, nurture it, give it water, give it food, talk to it, sing to it, caress it, love it, and see what happens.
Can anyone guess why this is so effective? I will give you a hint...Mother earth.