Yes I am going there... So if you have issues with femininity and one of the most beautiful times of the month we experience as women, please read no further.
Today is the first day of my Moon and it has been fantastic. My energy is high and I have been creating, singing, and dancing intermittently all day. For as long as I have had my lovely Moonshower, the first magic day has always been the hardest. I have usually been groggy, ridiculously hungry, and slightly uncomfortable in the womb area. Sometimes I have found that doing ab work and letting out powerful warrior cries gave relief but the symptoms would come back a little later and these tactics aren't really mobile.
Well, this morning when I noticed my precious friend, I immediately placed my hands over my womb and gave myself Reiki. I started to feel good all over and that mushy love feeling almost put me back to sleep, but I got up and decided to get to creating. As I was creating, I realized I was feeling uncharacteristically good...really good actually. If you are a Reiki practiioner, I encourage you to try this out, if you aren't consider this incentive. So there you have it folks, Reiki MADE ME FEEL GOOD today and I didn't have to star in a weird movie with an old odd looking man to do it!!
I am sure most people have heard that in order to truly love someone else, you must first love yourself. In the past, whenever I heard this, I would always nod my head in agreement. It made perfect sense, of course, you must love yourself. I thought I did love myself ....or maybe I never even considered it on my list of things I had to do. It wasn't until after a few failed relationships I started to reevaluate this so-called love I had for myself. That statement came back again and this time I listened even harder and asked my ego to take a backseat. There wasn't any head-nodding this time, just stillness and a little shock. Maybe I didn't really love myself, but now that I know that, I am going to get on it. Yes indeedy! Let me get right on it...After marching off to get started, I realized I really didn't know how or where to even begin this love affair. Google to the rescue!
After lots of reading and searching, I started the mirror technique. I would look in the mirror for about 5 minutea, deep into my eyes and say, "I love you." It was hard at first and there were times I couldn't actually go through with it. Sometimes I cried tears of joy and sadness. It was hard to distinguish between the two. Eventually I was having near orgasms when I looked in the mirror. I still get a little excited. I am getting excited just thinking about it...But that isn't the point of this entry. Essentially, I did mantras, prayers, treated myself to good food, bought a cute dress, went on adventures, and whatever else that was recommended and I felt the love....I did, but there was still something off. The love didn't really reach me to my core and I really didn't know how to do that. I was in love with the me who lives in this material world, but the real me, I was still ignoring. So when it came down to it, I still didn't know how to love ME.
When I first became attuned to Reiki, I felt a sense of love that I never felt before. My heart felt mushy (still does) and I wanted to hug strangers and cradle them in my bosom (maybe just the babies). A love portal truly opened up inside of me and even though it was a new feeling, I also knew it was always there. I only had glimpses of it before. It forced me to go back to understanding what it means to truly love myself and all of the things that got in the way.
So what did I figure out? What has been the pathway towards true love for me?
Wait for it...
LISTENING, CREATIVITY, and ACTION. Love is a feeling but 'to love' is an action. It is something that you share. I had to realize that I truly am in a relationship with myself and looking in the mirror and buying myself nice things weren't going to cut it. I had to go deeper. I had to listen to my inner voice and give to her, honor her, appreciate all of the unconditional love she gives me. So with the energy of Reiki (which is like a love expressway), I have learned to go in and listen. I meditate and ask questions. I listen...and then I create. I create a world for myself through writing, art, and communication that echos the love I hear in my heart, the love that is given to me unconditionally. It takes a lot of trust and effort to do this, to write the words that I write to myself, to make the things I make for myself, to give to a place without any limitations or rules, and to know that I am loved for all of it. Creating my heart song is truly my greatest act of self love. It the truest love I could give myself and as I have learned it comes back and gets deeper and deeper. Love truly is a journey.
If you made it this far...hahaha... What is your greatest act of self love? How do you love yourself? Can you look into your eyes and say "I love you" without looking away?
Reiki has truly taken me on a journey. I can’t say if it forced or facilitated my journey within, but regardless I find myself in this wondrous exploration of who I truly am. For years I have heard various spiritual teachers and messengers telling people to “go within”, “all of our answers are within”, but the concept seemed so abstract. I couldn’t understand how to go within. Where was within? One night I decided I was going to figure it out. Some Reiki teachers will say that the most important part of having a Reiki practice is that the practitioner is actively healing themselves. I deeply agree with this. I never considered how many bodies I have until I had to use Reiki on not only my physical body but my spiritual, mental, and emotional bodies as well. Before I go to bed, after I send Reiki energy out to those who have asked for it or those who may need it, I give myself a Reiki session. That night I wanted to go within and so I sent Reiki energy to that effort, not sure of what the results would be. I started by simply observing my thoughts and I began to wonder their location. They were within. I then thought of my ancestors and when I sensed them. Where were they? Within. I observed my feelings. Where were they? Within. Everything was within. My concept of spirituality, divine power, loved ones who have transitioned, thoughts, feelings, memories, all the things that comprised me were within. That meant that I am all of those things. I then pushed it a little further and sought to know something that I thought I didn’t know. If I am all of these things then I must be knowledge as well. So I began to search for this bit of knowledge that I wanted to obtain within and I found it. It revealed itself to me quite easily. Of course that was just my beginning but it has helped me demystify a great amount of teachings and information I have come across the years.
I am sharing this to inspire those who are trying to do the same and for those who never considered it as a possibility. Is Reiki a prerequisite? Of course not. Reiki is my personal journey as a healer and artist. You only need a desire and openness to know that yourself is waiting for you to “go within”. I promise that you will not be disappointed.