For My Mother

Dear Mother Mamochka Mom Ma,
If you ask me who created me, human me, I never attribute it to some invisible god in the ether somewhere. I will tell you with full clarity that my creator is you. The glory goes to you. There are times when I talk about you with my friends and I have to pause. In those moments, I realize I have the greatest mother on the planet and other planets I am sure. I know I chose you to be my mother. It wasn't an accident or random plan. No, I waited for the right time to enter into this world and I chose you to be the one who would create the way for me to exist. Thank you.

I know being my mother is not the easiest role. I live in a world of dreams and imagination and in so many ways I have asked you to trust something that you couldn't see over and over again. It has been the theme of our journey together and you believe in me in ways not everyone could. With each moment that passes, I seek to bring more from that world into this one and it amazes me that you stand by me, but you do. Even when I have doubted my own capabilities there you were, there as my mother, watching me, listening to me, and reminding me who I am. If there was ever a moment that you said you couldn't, I would understand, because I am more than grateful that I have gotten this far with your love. It has always been my intention that I could show you just a bit of what I see and I know I have done that and I have so much more I want to show you.

One day I looked at my life and took an inventory of all of my accomplishments, my triumphs, my miracles, and I realized that my none of those experiences happened without your support. Not one. Even when I thought I did it all by myself, I knew it wasn't true. Mom you know my heart and understand it somehow. I look at the way you love me and I'm speechless. You never told me what to believe in. You gave me the space to discover for myself. You have never asked me to be someone I wasn't even as you realized you were raising "the princess", "sleeping beauty", "the eccentric", and "the queen" all rolled into one. Some would say I am spoiled, but I disagree, because the work that I do now, where I pour my love into people who are seeking to grow and heal wouldn't be possible without your support...and I think that those who work with me know it. If I am spoiled, then so is anyone who knows me and spends time with me because I love them the way you love me.

As I told you, everyday is Mother's day, but I am happy to say, Happy Mother's day! to you. You are the one that loved me, inspired others to love me, held me, fed me, watched me sleep, bathed me, sang to me, and changed my dirty diapers... and I am so grateful you did. You raised my brother and I by yourself, in a hot desert, with very little help, and constantly created opportunities for us to realize our own greatness. I never saw you give up or say it was too much. You always seemed endless. I now know it is because you are...endless. There isn't a doubt in my mind or heart that I have the world's greatest mother. 

Mom, it shocks me to think that there is a soul who chooses me right now and that one day I will be there for her the way you have been for me. Just as your mother did for you, you have taught me well. I know I can do it too, and in my way pass on our family's tradition of transcendent, royal, dreams into reality, magical, unconditional love. You have created the way for me to exist as your mother did for you. I ask you to never think you have lost your abilities. We have free will but a mother's love opens the way for us to step into a greater vision. You are my creator and my goddess. I love you and I believe in you.