It was amazing day of breakthroughs, storytelling, and high vibes. I have a feeling that with each week that passes by my level of amazement will skyrocket. In one of my sessions, I was asked if I had ever attended a NA or an AA meeting. I hadn't. She went on to say that when you sit in just to listen to everyone's stories, you can find that the pain that so many experience isn't really unique. Everyone has a story. In my sessions, I am working to show the other side of pains and fears that seem inescapable.
1st session with Raccoon
I went on the wild side with Raccoon today. It was our first session and like the previous sessions with other clients we had our times all mixed up. The session went on as planned...on my end. The whole thing has made me a very trusting in Divine timing. Everything happens when it is supposed to happen.
I read her energy before the session and felt she was curious, open-minded, and ready. As we started talking I quickly found out she was a shaman and level II Reiki practitioner. Whoohoo! How exciting! She has been diagnosed as having bipolar depressive disorder and PTSD. Currently she is taking meds and I wonder what that will mean for our work together. She describes her mental health as unpredictable. She became interested in Shamanism after her first breakdown. The first thing I noticed was that although she was a shaman and walked in both worlds, she had a hard time with death and transition. Sometimes we get into spirituality to have a greater understanding of death but we forget to honor the transition. In releasing and accepting the change we open ourselves up to greater possibilities...and I am pretty sure I conveyed that message to her in some way.
As I scanned her energy I was attracted to what felt like her descending colon. Once again I received another message that she needed to release. This time in a blatantly obvious way. I saw a cool green surround that area and I let the energy flow. The words, hope and cope, came up on our session and my heart said "nope". I don't feel like hoping or coping fit in the life of someone who is living in their fullest authentic expression.
After our session, well like right now, I am realizing that I want to see people at their fullest expression while knowing they are loved and appreciated. I really want to see people be in their greatness. My feeling is if we can pull of all of the layers of what we think we are supposed to be and just be, amazing things will happen. No hoping or coping, just being. We talked a bit about my Ancient Hawaiian connection and I have a feeling that our work together will explore it even more. Raccoon is bringing out some deeper aspects of me and I like it.
Her homework was to conduct a few funerals of her own. I am sure the eulogies will be amazing.
1st session with Ginger
Prior to session I felt that her body felt very dense and that she doesn't spend a lot of time in her body. As we talked she confirmed my reading and I spent the whole session working to clear it. As she released I felt her energy field become more and more clear. Ginger has been diagnosed with major depressive disorder, severe anxiety, PTSD, and agoraphobia and is currently on meds. When she descibed her condition she said that everyday was a major battle and it is like "a monster waiting for you when you wake up." This has been her life for at least 7 years since her diagnosis and breakdown. The words she used to decribe her current feelings were depressed, scared, and hopeless. We talked about hope. I told her that i would rather she knew than hoped and then she in formed me that someone once told her that hope can be an addiction as well. I couldn't have agreed with her more.
Ginger also had a drug history, but today I talked with someone who has been sober for 29 years. To speak to her and hear her stories of her abusive childhood and diffucult life, I was honored to be able to hear a intelligent, compassionate, and creative woman present and resilient with me. We talked about how inportant it was to be creative and express our talents. We talked about how misunderstood creative people can be and because of it get titles like "insane", "bipolar" or "mentally ill". She is a writer, a saxophonist, an aromatherapist, and more. I was surprised to hear a woman of some many talents feel like there was nothing left to give. But depression is like that, it fogs your view to your own greatness. As she talked I saw myself as a clarifier and deep sea diver working to bring up her gifts to the surface so that she couldn't deny them. By the end of our time, I think it worked.
Since she was diagnosed she has been experiencing flashbacks and recovered memories. She aptly said that her breakdown was a breakthrough. The only issue is that it can be frightening to relive events that were pushed deep into the subconscious. But I feel if they are coming up, it means you are ready to release it. Because of this, I gave her instructions for a meditation that would enable her to be a time-traveler of sorts.
At the end of the session, I felt overwhelmed with gratitude. We had interesting commonalities and I think that she helped me just as much I may have helped her. In addition to her meditation homework, I also asked her to use her writing skills to be creative. Express, express, express!! I'm looking forward to hearing what she came up with.
2nd session with Pearl
Wow! Wow Wow! My time with Pearl was amazing today. I realize for her it is all about slowly peeling away her old coat of fear. I realized that I have had a great luxury to experience my spiritual nature without feeling like I would be persecuted. In her past she was persecuted and it shook her confidence in herself. I feel today I helped to stabilize it a bit...but we will keep going until it is solid.
Her homework last week was to find who her spirit guide was and to get a plant. She ended up getting a lovely lucky bamboo plant with a woven design. After enjoying her plant, she started to tell me the happenings of the week in her search for her spirit guide. I didn't tell her how to contact her spirit guide because I wanted her to find her own way of doing it. She went online, asked around, and got to searching. She started noticing crows around her and a solitary chipmunk. At one point a crow came flying in front of her window making a big fuss three times. She later had a vision of a man, whom by her description, sounded like he looked like a crow. She described a buzzing feeling in her body and seeing images pass. I listened very carefully because I knew that we had a guided meditation scheduled. As she described her vision, I started to develop an itinerary and list of supplies for our scheduled trip.
The meditation we did is one that I just started using with my clients. I use it for myself often. The goal is find a home within yourself. So far I am shocked and surprised at the consistency for everyone who has done it. They see similar things, and have similar experiences. In this instance, Pearl was met by the Crow man from her previous vision. He laid out a map for her and told her to go to a green colored part. He said she would find what she lost. Prior to her trip I asked her to wear the necklace that was put on her in one of her visions and to carry the key that was given to her. In her description of the stone in the necklace it sounded like it was moonstone. As she sat in front of her guide, the crow man, he continued to urge her to go to the location on the map. I then suggested that she ask him how to get there. He gets up an opens a door and tells her to jump. She was afraid. She stood there for a bit looking at clouds. All she could see was clouds and sky. When she looked down she saw a dragon. The dragon smiled at her. She was surprised, I wasn't. At that point I was crying tears of joy for her because I knew she was going to have a breakthrough. I then encouraged her to jump. She could see that if she did the dragon would catch her. She jumped. He caught her. She landed clumsily on the ground and noted that even in visions she was a clutz. We laughed. She saw a cottage she had seen before and she went to it. With her skeleton key in hand she opened the door to see her Grandmother. She lost her Grandmother in her early teens and it was very hard for her. At that point she joined me in the crying fest. She apologized for her emotion, but I told her she was late to the game. She kept on saying how much she felt loved. There was only love. She was safe. She was okay. I encourage her to ask her grandmother for any messages. She got a few and after awhile she found herself rising above the cottage. I told her to ask her dragon to bring her back. He told her to rest and took her to a hammock.. I felt like I was in the technicolor world with her...always standing at a respectful distance and nudging her along. Finally she came back. I knew we had to ground so together we went through a grounding exercise. She felt her feet get hot as we did it.
Afterwards I told her how she could use these tools in different ways. I was so proud of her and in awe of her bravery. Working with Pearl is interesting for me because of how the energy flows so strongly for me and then it will stop as I move on to the next part. I find myself moving and speaking with the energy in a way that is precise and exact. Her homework for next week is to do the meditation again.