Music: Girl on Fire by Alicia Keys
I've been doing a lot of studying lately. For the past 30 days I have been participating in a Magick challenge with a really cool group of people. We are all doing our personal work and share our experience as we feel inspired. The duration of this challenge is 40 days and I am confident that I will do it again because of all that I have learned about myself in this process. The intent of the challenge is like most 40 day ventures, profound personal transformation.
Throughout the challenge I have definitely been inclined to study the so-called spiritual teachers, gurus, and people of the world. The main thing I have noticed is their inconsistency. One year they say it takes 68 seconds to make a thought into reality and the next year they say it's 17 seconds. Later they say it is just adds up. One guy made, wrote, and acted in a whole movie on "Indigo" children only to have an interview years later in which he acts like "Indigo" is a new term that he knows little about. Angels are Extra-terrestials, but we can't seem to decide if they are beautiful or ugly. Some talk of 7 chakras, others say 12, and my favorite say 112. Everyone is channeling someone or some group. Some of the information is repetitive, some interesting, profound, affirmative, and some humorous.
In all of this my main subject of study is myself. I am studying the crevices of my subconscious and uncovering my personal truths. I am having wild dreams and sleeping longer than usual because sleep isn't sleep; it is school and I am in my doctoral program. Last night I was in hell or at least what I definitely could recognize as hell. All of the things, fears, people, and scenarios that truly irk me collided in one space and storyline. It ended with near arson, me jumping out of a 3-story building with pure grace, getting help, and returning to find older women taking care of the entire situation. The women moved around with a air of peace that wisdom bestows. I woke up knowing hell exists, but so does divine intervention, freedom of choice, and our ability to free ourselves from any situation that doesn't serve us. I also wondered if my jump out of the window was necessary since nothing happened or did nothing happen because I jumped out of the window? Regardless, I can't help but herald my quick ability to assess the situation and excuse myself... and laud my courage to go back. In going back, I released my fear of hell and I was rewarded with sight of the wise women. I walked in the front door and surveyed how thorough their work was and felt a new sense of confidence and relief. Everything was alright. Those things weren't my concern anymore.
Though a fire never had a chance to start, I moved like a flame. The words of my aunt who told me to listen to that nudge that tells you need to leave a situation rung through me. I became the flame that I was sure would consume us all. I decided to become a fire ninja in the space of time it takes to light a match. What would you do when confronted with your own hell?
Send me a note if you want to know more about the 40 day Magick Challenge at email@example.com.
And yes, this song came blasting in my head when I woke up...