Cue Boyz II Men and open your psychic ears to hear me hit those whiny constipated notes. While you are at it, pass me some cosmic tissue. It has been six months and I have reached the end of the first installation of this awesome, life-changing project. As the participants responses come in, you will be able to read what they got from it (hear from Pearl and Ginger). But now, I am going to share what I learned from them, in order of appearance.
The first Person I had a session with was Pearl. When we first started, she was afraid of everything it seemed. I felt my job was to help her release the fear. As things would come up, I found that I was able to explain what was happening in her life in a way that not only gave her security, but me as well. You see she wasn't special in having fear. I have had plenty of fears, especially in the realm of psychic phenomena. I have been afraid to see, hear, sense anything that others couldn't, but in my responsibility to her, I felt myself quickly overcoming these fears. Working with her also forced me to acknowledge all of my fears, big and small. I actually get excited when I find a hidden fear now. I feel a sense of triumph, because I know if I can see it, I can address it. Pearl also taught me about the unconditional bounds a mother's love can truly have. She is willing to learn whatever she needs to help her children and it is awesome to see. It influenced me to do the same for this group.
Ginger, Oh Ginger. Ginger helped me grow a even deeper appreciation for my mother and life. She came to me feeling like there was nothing left. She felt old. Every time she expressed it, I would then go look at my mother who was outside working, getting ready to go dancing, or applying for volunteer positions, and realized that there is no such thing as retirement (and that was a good thing). With Ginger, I realized that until I am ready to transition from this experience called life, I am going to enjoy it and work to have as much fun as I can. Before working with her, I was more excited about the relief of death. Yes, I was working, but I didn't want to. Yes I was trying to build a business, but I didn't see its worth. Had I been diagnosed, I would have been considered depressed. As I encouraged her, I encouraged myself. Over the six months, I have watched her come back to life. Her voice has strengthened and she helped me hear the beauty of mine.
Our dearly departed Raccoon will always be special to me because she showed me the strength I had in my commitment to this project. She left probably about 2 months in. The first day I was disappointed because I really wanted everyone to do it together and I saw so much potential in her. She taught me to let go and trust the process, not just for the project, but for everything. After she left, the energy of the group changed for the greater and I found myself becoming even more creative and exploratory. Her presence and disappearance forced me to look at my work ethic differently, with a kinder eye. Before starting, I questioned if I could maintain these weekly sessions, and when she left I knew could do it. I was built for it.
He's the Whiz and he lives in OZ! If you know anything about the symbolism of the Emerald city, you will know that it represented the heart center. Without a doubt, the Whiz lived up to his hometown. He taught me about love and relationships in a way I never expected. He was exploring a polyamorous lifestyle and in order for me to help him, I had to tap into that perspective without judgment or my own issues. As I did this I started to inadvertently explore aspects about myself and my past relationships. For a long time, I felt guilty about having a big heart and loving the way I did. If someone accused me of "still" loving someone, I immediately felt wrong or weak. I felt this way so much that I had tortured myself into trying to change, but without success. Working with him, help me to release the guilt and then love myself even more. I realized that there wouldn't be a way that I could do this work if I was selfish with love. I also learned that anyone who would try to make me feel guilty for being myself, needs to learn how to love. Hey, wasn't Dorothy polyamorous too?
Last, but definitely not least, is Coco. She has been a gift to us all in every mysterious way you could imagine. Every time I wondered if I was getting through to her or felt helpless, something miraculous would happen. Feminine energy is described as the mystery, the void and most people are afraid of it. Coco taught me to find comfort in it. She exemplified feminine energy in a such a pure way that I was constantly pushed out of my comfort zone of intellect, ration, and logic. She taught me not to be afraid of the unexpected. I welcome it with open arms now. She taught me that what we fear most about ourselves is often the most powerful attribute we have. Early on, I called her the angel of our group and in these 6 months I have seen a transformation in her that I truly can't put into words. Every time I think about it, I find my head swaying in quiet shock and a mistiness cloaking my eyes.
Pearl, Ginger, Whiz, Raccoon, and Coco, you have been an amazing group of souls. I don't know what happens next, but I have a sense of wonder and excitement from this experience that I have never had before. Something BIG happened in this work we did! There is no need to hope, plan, or expect anything because we are cloaked in a delicious richness that just wants to be experienced. Experience, love, and trust your path. I love you all!