English "Dodgy" ball time! Someone was going down!
When I lived in Seoul, Korea I became very aware of a certain phrase, "FIGHTING!" Sometimes it sounded more like "Hwaiting!" since there really isn't a "f" sound in the Korean language. I first heard it when I was watching Korean Dramas. If someone was having a "hard time" and felt "a burden" another kind person who noticed their "hard time" would say "Fighting!" or if they need that super kick, "Ajah! Ajah! Fighting!". It was like a super boost of encouragement. I used this phrase very often.
Sure my time in Korea was amazing but it wasn't absent of rough days or supreme frustrations. I have a very independent personality and never see myself subordinate to anyone. Hell, I consider myself to be the real President (sorry Obama). I frequently use terms like sovereign and self-important to help others understand me with all the seriousness in the world, universe, and galaxies beyond. I am my CEO, boss, supervisor, President, Queen, King, God, Goddess, etc in all situations. If I am not interested in leading, then I am an independent consultant or contributor. So you can imagine how that way of being was received by collectivist, hierarchical, South Korea. Some say modern day Korean culture is more like American culture in the 1950's. I like to think that is not true but sometimes I really wondered. Despite this, I met some amazing people who did their best to support me and understand me (they even prayed for me) but with all the support in the world I still had to do the real work to make my time there magical.
The first thing I did was made a decision to love the children unconditionally. I LOVED them (still do) and told them so everyday. I also loved the people I worked with and I am sure they felt it. I then changed my teaching style to smiling all of the time and being committed to having fun everyday. One day I was posing for a portrait and my friend asked me if I was getting tired holding my smile and to my shock my answer was no. Smiling became my default expression. I knew it was effective when the students were checking themselves because "Ms. Kiki is not smiling". I also made sure that I kept all school related stuff at school. Outside of school, I made my time with friends and with myself precious. We truly had a blast and I even learned how to swing dance (and I am good).
When I first started, I was so committed to being a good teacher it was painful. I wanted to be perfect and I was beyond stressed out. My mother would tell me to relax and have fun but I was convinced I didn't know how to do it. I was taking work home which has always been a big "no no" in my book. My Co-teacher would always tell me to "take a rest". I was out of control. To feel better and rid myself of a reoccurring headache, I found myself chanting with the nuns and monks at my nearby mountain temple a few times a week. I was also being counseled by the monks afterwards. The temple time just helped me sleep at night. It wasn't until I let it all go and made the decision to be love on two legs did everything change. I stopped "caring" about everything. My concept of "caring" was really just fear of everything going "wrong" and it was spoiling a perfectly good time.
So this brings me back to "Fighting"...Well after a long day it wouldn't be uncommon for fellow teachers to complain about their lives or something that would stress them out. I must admit I was guilty of this in the beginning. But what I found to be most interesting was after my twenty minute complaining session it also wouldn't be uncommon for a teacher to simply say, "Fighting!". Call me a "simple betty" but that was what made everything alright for me. It was what also made me stop complaining and start finding solutions because if after everything I said all you have for me is "Fighting!" then I need to figure something out because clearly it isn't that bad.
If you are having a rough day, week, month, year, or life I say to you, "Fighting" and if you need a little warrior cry, "AJAH! AJAH! FIGHTING!". Now go get butt-naked and run around screaming that to the top of your lungs...even if it is just in your imagination. I personally imagine myself with a stick smashing things while doing my warrior lap...and there may be some howling involved (no faeries die in this process). After you are done with that, "take a rest", set some clear boundaries for yourself, fill yourself with love and enjoy!
oh and then contact me for some of that good stuff aka healing energy...ha ha ha ha!