When I give a Reiki session or a counseling session I am working within my clients energetic field. In simple terms, I am reading them. In addition to that, as an Empath, I can also feel what that person is feeling. It is pretty unavoidable and since it helps me help the person I am working with, I just go with it. Things tend to get funny when I am working with someone who is able to do similar work. Not too many people like to be read, but I find the hardest clients to work with are fellow Intuitives AKA Psychics AKA Readers. I know it takes a lot for me to open up to another Reader so I am not shocked when I feel resistance from them. I remember when I was scheduled for a reading from a Psychic that prior to the reading (which was over the phone) I could feel her trying to get into my energy field. I have such a strong shield around me that I had to go into a slight meditation to let her in.

I often get a few Intuitives on Free Reiki Fridays and it is always a little weird. The first reason is that they know the value of the work I am doing more than those who do not spend a lot of time in the spiritual world, so why do they want something free? And if it is out of curiosity, isn't this the point that they should engage their intuition to determine if they should work with me or not? Don't get me wrong, I have done the same thing. Recently I saw a woman offering free 3 minute readings and I inquired about it. I guess free really means no commitment or risk. We don't expect much with free. It was like I wanted to test her out and maybe they are doing the same thing...and it is all good, until I have to read them.

Reading a Psychic isn't much different from reading someone else because Psychics are just people who have tapped into their inherent gifts. At the end of the day and if they eat well, they still drop loads in the toilet like everyone else. The main difference is that I find the information that I receive to be more down to earth. With most clients, I find myself saying that they should work on meditation or connect with their ancestors, but with psychics the messages are more like "clean up your house" or "go to the club and chill" or "your baby is becoming more independent and you should be ready for that". I don't choose the messages and the tone always seems to be very catered to the individual. Keep in mind that I am giving a Reiki session, so these messages come as I am in different parts of their body/auric field. After the energy has stopped flowing I write down what I got and then send it to them in a message. This is where it always gets funny (not in a ha ha way).

My ego has been tested every time I have sent out the messages. First of all, it isn't easy to give out these messages because they are so personal. Secondly, as clear as it was when I got the message, I begin to question if I should send it. Before I doubt myself, I just start typing. I start at the beginning of my list and keep going until everyone has received their message. Within a few hours the replies start rolling in. Most of them are thank yous with a few questions, but the psychics always act like they forgot they signed up for Free Reiki Friday. I get, "Is this message for me?" or "What is this?" This could really screw with my confidence if I hadn't already received so much confirmation from the other people on the list. So that is the point where I have to quiet my ego that wants to boast and say, "You know good and well that message was for you." I take a deep breath, come from the heart, and simply say a "yes" and maybe a "thank you". I know had it been the other way around, I would be offering a similar reply because of that weird feeling that someone was all up in my business.

Being read can be an invasive procedure no matter how loving the reader is. It can be downright scary because the reality is that you are asking for someone to help you with something that you have a hard time acknowledging or healing on your own. The other side is that when you are reading people on a regular basis, it can give you a false sense of security and even superiority. You become the giver, the provider, and no longer the receiver. You can feel on top of it all, but how quickly you can fall when another reader can see that your house is a hot mess.

Even though I was testing out that psychic recently, I am glad that I was at least willing to be open. We all need help sometimes and I think it is the strongest of people who really know how to receive it with grace, trust, and openness. I am working on being one of those people. In saying all of that I do have to say there is also a wonderfully amazing side to working with highly intuitive clients. I'll explore more of that in the next journal.

What is personal growth for? Do you find yourself working to improve yourself  so that you can go back to those old places and old people from your past just to show off how well you have done? Be honest. Is that what it is really all about? If so, all you are really doing is living for your past and truthfully, that isn't growth and it isn't living. Even more, it is a block on your path that you must remove. Personal growth is about being courageous enough to go into the unknown, to go beyond what you thought was possible. It takes you having the knowledge that what you are doing isn't about anyone except yourself and the future vision of your life that you are giving to.

A few posts back I wrote about forgiveness in a two-part series (Part 1 & Part 2). I said that forgiveness is about giving energy to a greater future, a greater you. Forgiveness is integral to growing. Several times I have heard the drama-drenched statement, "I can forgive, but I can't forget." Hell I have probably said it thinking I was really deep, well I know I have said it. It is almost always said like it is a threat. Who are you threatening really? Your feelings have already been hurt, the pain has already happened. If you have truly forgiven, you have tended to your wound, and created a greater vision to give your energy to. So who are you threatening with your amazing memory? It is very rare that the person or situation that hurt you will be at your mercy, no matter what Hollywood tells you. So who are you threatening? You are threatening your own great future. It is almost like saying, no matter how great things get, I won't allow it to be fully great because I rather sit around and brood about how this past thing that hurt me. Right away, it says you still haven't healed and that is okay, but understand what it really means because then you can do something about it. You don't have to be healed in order to forgive, but if you are actively forgiving, you are healing. Let's be clear, this is different than learning your lessons. But if you learned your lesson why do you have to go back and take the same class that you mastered. Learning your lesson isn't passing with a C, it is mastering the subject and then being in the position to teach someone else. Until then you are still learning and that is great, but don't be confused.

Personally I love learning and I have also learned that sometimes we visit lessons we have already learned just so that we can feel at the top of the class. At some point, you have to be willing to be honest and get the nerve up to learn new lessons. Without that honesty and courage, there is no personal growth. So can you forget? I don't know, but the real question is what are you remembering? Are you able to see the full picture now? Can you be grateful for the past because of all of the growth you have experienced in your present? Can you be grateful for the contrast because of how it has inspired your greater vision that you are now giving to? What are you remembering?

No matter how hard you try, you can't go back. Sure you can call those old people, visit your old neighborhood, remember your old school, but you will quickly find you cannot fit there anymore. You can't fit in the past so why even try. If you think about all of your acquired wisdom as furniture, imagine trying to fit it all in your childhood home. It doesn't fit nor does it match the decor. It's clashing and sometimes that is hard to admit.

In my work with myself and my clients, I use Reiki to address the root causes of these past pains so that our personal energy can be focused on truly forgiving, creating a greater vision to give to. My ideal client is someone ready to go beyond any perceived limitations and then keep going. Our growth is exponential and I am here to remove the blocks and give you love for your fuel. Going to the past to flaunt your growth can be an ego boost but it is ultimately delusional, and in the words of Sweet Brown, "Ain't nobody got time for that!" You are greater than that. Look to the past with gratitude and more importantly give your energy to a greater vision.